Trouble : Boston Bolts Hockey

It’s impossible to get a word in during dinner. The Langfield brothers are all loud. Their women are equally so. And there are more kids in this single room than I’ve been near in years. Yet sandwiched between Cade and Declan at the table, I don’t feel even slightly invisible. Declan has his arm draped over the back of my chair, his fingers randomly teasing the ends of my hair. Cade holds my hand while he eats with his other. He jokes around with the guys and stays overly involved in the conversations, while Declan and I are more subdued.

I fit with these two in a way that I’ve never fit with anyone else.

Until the doorbell rings, and in walks my best friend with her little boy in her arms, and suddenly, she’s the loudest person in the room. “Oh my god. I can’t believe you’re here!”

My smile is wide as her gaze swings from Declan to Cade back to Declan again, before her attention fully settles on me. “And you have been holding out on me, woman.”

I laugh as I get up so I can hug her. “No, I haven’t. I just didn’t have anything to tell you this week.”

While Declan worked on his plan to get Cade to forgive him, I spent my week working on music with Lake. I even recorded a few songs just before my deadline with the label.

“What are you guys doing here, though?”

As if answering my question, Ford makes a beeline for Millie, who’s already getting up to welcome him, with Vivi in her arms. “Couldn’t miss Vivi girl’s first Christmas,” he says as he reaches for his granddaughter. The one-year-old I got to spend some time with tonight is now all smiles as she grabs Ford’s cheeks and pinches, then slobbers all over one in what some might call a kiss.

“We had a meeting at the label, and I wanted to see you before we left Boston,” Ford says, turning his attention to me.

I swear that comment has the eyes of every person in the room turning in my direction.

Apprehension courses through me at the scrutiny. Enough to make it hard to breathe.

“What’s he talking about?” Cade rumbles, stepping closer.

Declan, who’s appeared at my side, arches a brow as he stares down, imploring me to tell everyone.

I drop my head to his chest, pulling strength from him. His proximity is enough to allow me to get the words out. “While you were traveling this week,” I say to Cade, “Declan finished the music studio in his basement, and I finished three songs.”

Cade steps closer, his lips parted. “Music studio?”

“So she doesn’t have to go back to New York if she doesn’t want to,” Declan explains. His eyes are soft as he takes me in. Then he drops a kiss to my forehead. “But it’s nothing special.”

“That’s not true,” I tell everyone. “It has a piano and a guitar. It’s soundproofed too. And the best part is that it’s in Bristol. My home.”

Declan grasps my hip and squeezes. This isn’t a surprise to him. He knows how I feel. Where I want to live. And who I want to live with.

But Cade is looking at us like we’re offering him every wish he’s ever had. “Really? You built a studio for her, Dec?”

“I don’t want either of you to ever have a reason to leave,” Declan says quietly. “My home is your home.”

Cade’s easy grin goes wide, both of his dimples popping. The reaction makes the man behind me suck in a breath. The way these two love one another, the way they love me, is beyond special. It’s rare. And I’m going to hold on to it. Because it’s a once-in-a-lifetime love.

“Ah, I love this!” Lake’s declaration breaks our little spell.

I blink back to the moment, only then realizing that everyone is watching us.

“You’re really moving to Bristol?” she asks, her hands clutched at her chest.

I glance at my two guys, then nod. “Yeah. I’m sure we’ll be in Boston so we can attend Bolts games, but Bristol is where I’d like to create a life.”

“Hope I don’t burst your bubble when I say this,” Ford says, “but you’ll have to spend some of your time touring, because this new sound is going to sell out arenas.”

“Bolts Arena being the first,” Gavin adds at the same time Beckett says, “Lang Field should be the first stop.”

Liv rolls her eyes. “Do you guys need to make everything about the Langfields?”

“Yes,” all four brothers holler, making the room break out in a round of laughter.

“New sound?” Declan asks, his focus, as always, remaining on the three of us.

“Yes. It’s less pop; more emotional. The guitar addition on the last one was perfect,” Lake says.

I can’t help but fill with pride. The songs I created are 100 percent my own. For so long, I’ve followed my best friend’s lead. And even now, I’m moving to her town, settling down and starting what I hope is a family right beside her. But this—my music, my sound—it’s all me.

Okay, maybe not all me. It’s the three of us. It’s this feeling of safety and joy, of being comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life because these two men have given me the space to feel that way.

It’s not conforming to what’s expected of me, or aligning myself to what I think I should be doing to sell myself. It’s alchemy. A complete transformation of my brand, of myself.

And I’m in love with it.

I can honestly say that not only do I love the men flanking me, but I finally love myself.

Perhaps that’s why I can accept their love. Because I can see what they see in me. I can see how I fit them just as much as they fit me. How I need them just as much as they need me.

“Can we hear it?” Millie asks.

Everyone is in the room nodding, but I’m shaking my head. “Let’s just listen to some Christmas carols. Tonight shouldn’t be about me.”

“Every night should be about you, sweetheart,” Declan says, dropping a kiss to my neck. “But in case we weren’t clear, we want to hear your music.”

Everyone around us seems to talk at once, begging for me to share my new sound.Content rights by NôvelDr//ama.Org.

Lake is the loudest. “Please. I think this is your best song yet. I’m obsessed.”

Emotion makes it hard to swallow. Tears blur my vision. For so long, I was told to sit in the corner. To hide behind others. To dim my light so others could shine.

But no one here wants that from me.

Not only have Declan and Cade shown me love, and shared each other’s hearts with me, they’ve shared their family.

It’s so different from past Christmases. Where I faded into the background. Made-up stories to keep myself company. For so long, my music was comprised of nothing but stories of other people’s lives. Romances I created because I had no real experience to work with. But now, in this room, I feel that love I only ever tried to write about until now.

So, wrapped in Declan’s arms, while holding Cade’s hand, I allow Ford to pull out his phone and play them my newest song.

The rest of the group settles in, finding their loved ones, and we listen to my song. A song about love, about finding oneself. And both my guys smile at me when they realize it’s the story of us.