Tore Up (Mississippi Smoke Series Book 1)

“That’s a good boy,” I cooed as Slingshot nuzzled his head against my hand.

I had missed him yesterday, although I could relive that day over and over again. Seeing my baby boy again and how much he’d grown had been wonderful. Listening to Bane chuckle as we watched him kick and move around like he couldn’t wait to be set loose was a memory I’d never forget.

Grissele had been surprised when Bane told her that we would pick her up and there was no need for her driver. Although we had been together for the past four weeks, it wasn’t something I’d discussed with her. I’d been waiting on Bane to do that. She was curious, watching us during the drive, and when Bane took my hand when we walked into the doctor’s office, her eyebrows shot up, but she didn’t say a word about it.

Having Grissele laughing and crying while Bane held my hand, squeezing it tightly in both of his during my ultrasound, had made me feel even more emotional than I already had been. That baby boy was more loved than I’d ever been, and the joy that brought me was overwhelming.

When that first pregnancy test had come back positive, all I could think was, I was bringing a child into this world that would only have me. I didn’t know if I trusted Crosby to stick around. I didn’t know what to think. But I had wanted to give my child all I had never had, and at that moment, I had known the one thing that was certain was that the baby would be loved by me.

This was so much more. He had a family.

“Halo!” Grissele’s voice called out.

I turned around to see her walking toward me, looking like a fashion model. She always managed to look so perfectly put together. Nothing was ever out of place.

“Hey,” I replied. I hadn’t expected to see her again today.

She glanced over at Slingshot with a soft smile, then back at me. “He is a beauty. A wonderful choice for your first thoroughbred,” she said.

My first? Slingshot wasn’t mine. Maybe she meant my first one to take care of.

“I brought you something,” she said, holding out a light-blue gift bag. “I …” She paused, and there was a shadow of sadness that passed her expression before her smile brightened. “I thought you might like to have this.”

I opened the bag, and there were two things inside. When I picked up the framed photograph that was on top, my chest felt like it might explode as my eyes began to prickle. It was a picture she must have taken yesterday during the ultrasound. Bane stood beside me, holding my hand. I was looking up at him, smiling with tears in my eyes, as he gazed down at me. There were so many things this moment said that it was hard to express in words.

“Thank you,” I whispered, sucking in a breath and smiling as I tried not to cry.

She reached out and squeezed my arm, but said nothing. It was clear she was trying not to cry too.

When she hadn’t mentioned us being together yesterday and Bane not even leaving the room when I changed out of my clothes and into the hospital gown, I’d worried she was bothered by our relationship. This was my confirmation that she was okay with it. She’d accepted it.

I reached into the bag and pulled out a soft blue quilt with the word Cash embroidered on it in silver thread.

“That was Bane’s baby blanket,” she said, and then her smile got a little wobbly. “And Crosby’s. They both came home from the hospital wrapped in it. I thought perhaps you’d want it. The baby would have something that once belonged to his father and also to the man who is going to be his dad.” Her voice cracked on the last word.

The tears I had been fighting back broke free, and I let out a sob as I held the blanket against my chest. Grissele reached up and wiped at her own tears as she sniffled, then laughed.

“This is—” I got choked on my words and had to take a moment. “This is beautiful. It’s perfect. Thank you. He’ll come home wrapped in it too.”

I hadn’t let myself worry about the future. Bane’s actions. The way he looked at me. I felt loved. Cherished. Adored. But he never said he loved me. I never said it to him either. But not because I didn’t love him. I loved Bane so much that my heart felt as if it were going to burst with it most of the time.

The way he spoke was as if he would be there for my son and me, and it was him I saw by my side as I raised the little boy that I’d created with his brother. I wanted more than anything for Grissele’s words to be true. For Bane to be his dad. But I also knew not to hope for too much. To be thankful for every day I had and every moment I spent with Bane.

Grissele took a tissue from her purse and handed it to me, then took one for herself and dotted beneath her eyes as she smiled. “Whew,” she said. “I seem to be doing this a lot lately.”

I dried my face and slipped the tissue into the pocket on my leggings.

“Um,” she said, looking at me with uncertainty in her eyes, “can I hug you?”

I nodded, not so sure I wasn’t about to cry again.

Grissele closed the distance between us, and her slender arms wrapped around me. She smelled of wealth and sophistication, which was probably from a very expensive bottle of perfume.

“Thank you,” she said. “For saving him too.”

I wasn’t sure who she was talking about. Who had I saved?

When she pulled back and looked at me, she seemed to understand my confusion. “Bane. You saved Bane. He was on a destructive path, and I feared I would lose him too. But you brought him back. You were more powerful than all his pain.” She touched my cheek, then stepped back.

“Well, now that I have made us both cry and had my emotional outburst for the day, I will leave you to it,” she said, grinning.

I held up the gifts. “Thank you.”

She nodded her head once, then turned and walked back toward the stables.

Slingshot nudged my arm, and I turned back to him to give the needy fella my attention.

“I need to go put these things away. Then, I will be right back. It’s almost time for you to get brushed down and fed,” I told him.

He nodded his head, although it was just to get me to keep rubbing him, not because he was agreeing with me. Although he was smart. So, maybe he was agreeing with me.

I gave him one last pat, then placed the items back in my bag and headed toward the right side of the buildings. Bane had his own office here, which he was in very little. We ate lunch in there together—among other things. So far, we’d had sex on his desk, the sofa, against the wall, and on the floor. Several times each.

When I reached it, I went inside and put the bag down on the sofa before turning to leave. It was still another hour before he’d seek me out for lunch.

I stepped out of the office and almost ran straight into Adalee.

“Oh!” I said, startled, then smiled.

She wasn’t a fan of mine. Okay, that was putting it nicely. She hated my existence. When Bane was around, she was syrupy sweet to me. When Bane wasn’t around, she had me do things, like shovel out stalls, run to get her supplies from the storage room, make her coffee. I did it all not because she was my boss—because she wasn’t. I had thought I could get her to like me. She was the only thing about coming to the stables that was unpleasant. I was trying to melt the ice around her with kindness.

It wasn’t working.

“Are you seriously in there, resting? And you just left the foal in the round pen? Do I have to do your jobs too? I’ve already got enough of a load on me. If you’re just going to cause me more work, then why don’t you stay home? You can lie around and mooch off Bane all day that way,” she snapped at me angrily. Then pointed toward the stalls. “Now, go get the foal and put him in with his mother! You barely look pregnant. Stop acting like you need special privileges.”

She was in a temper today. I could handle this and her. I’d been raised by Iris. This was nothing new to me.

“Yes, of course,” I replied, knowing there was no reason to tell this woman that I’d had to put away a gift Grissele had brought me and that I was not resting.

She’d then go on a rant about me taking things from the Cashes and how I was manipulating Grissele. I’d heard that one already from her.

It seemed the more I didn’t react to her, the worse she got. As if she wanted me to snap back at her. Tell her no. Tell her to back off or that she wasn’t my boss. I wasn’t giving her that satisfaction. She could see that I was a nice person and get over her jealousy with Bane or keep this up.

Her heels clicked on the hardwood floor as she followed behind me. I guessed she was going to make sure I did as I had been told. Rolling my eyes, I kept going, not looking back at her. Just before I reached the massive arched doorway that led out to the pastures, her hand slammed against my back, causing me to stumble forward. Thankfully, I kept my balance and didn’t fall on my stomach.

“Could you at least try and walk faster?!” she spat out.

I wrapped my arms around my stomach, my heart racing from the physical attack that I had not seen coming. She’d been verbal, but never done something like this. As if she wanted to hurt me.

“I said, MOVE!”

She shoved me again. I hadn’t been prepared for it, and this time, I fell forward. On instinct, my arms shot out, and I caught myself, hitting my knees so that my stomach wasn’t impacted.

“Get u—”

Her harsh words were cut off, and I started to get up in a panic to get some distance from her. Glancing back though, I froze.

Grissele was behind Adalee with a gun pressed against her head. I didn’t move. I wasn’t sure I was breathing.

“MOM!” I heard Bane shout from the parking-lot side of the stables.

I swung my gaze to see where he was and saw him running through the long, wide center of the main building.

“This is what’s going to happen, you nasty bitch,” Grissele said in a cold tone that startled me. It sounded nothing like the woman I had gotten to know. “You are going to get your things. Hand in your keys. Walk out of this place and never fucking return. You will get no last paycheck. If you even think about suing for any reason, I will find you, and you won’t walk away. This is your one and only warning.”

“Jesus Christ, Mom! What the fuck?” Bane asked as he reached us.

He didn’t stop at the two of them, but came to stand in front of me, reaching back to wrap an arm around my body, like he was protecting me. It was sweet and all, but he was a little late. His mother had morphed into a badass and beaten him to it.

“I’m firing this one,” his mother told him.

“Bane,” Adalee whimpered.

“Uh-uh-uh,” Grissele said. “Don’t try that. He doesn’t know what I overheard and witnessed. He won’t be coming to your rescue. He might break your damn neck.”

Bane tensed up, his hand gripping my hip. “What did she do?” he asked, his voice lowering.

“Let’s see. Where to start? She accused Halo of being lazy, taking advantage of you, being in the way here, then ordered her to get outside and put up Slingshot. I was going to fire her in a less dramatic way at that moment, but then the crazy bitch pushed Halo. When Halo caught herself, I eased my hand off the gun just barely because she shoved her again, and this time, Halo fell to the ground.”

Bane shot over to Adalee so fast that I gasped, stepping back.

His hands went to her throat. “YOU FUCKING BITCH!” he roared.

“It’s okay, son. Halo landed on her hands and knees. She’s fine. No need to kill this one. But she does need to get off the property within ten minutes. Now, let go of her throat before she chokes to death and we have an unwanted mess to clean up.” Grissele’s tone was so calm that I almost laughed in horror.

Bane shook Adalee, then released her neck. She was trying to suck in air but was struggling. Grissele took the gun and opened her purse to slide it inside. Her gaze met mine then, and her face softened.

“Are you okay?” she asked gently.

I managed a nod.

“I am sorry about all this,” she said.

Bane was stalking back to me, his glare on Adalee. He pointed at the stables. “Get your shit! The clock is ticking.”

Then, his arms wrapped around me, and he pulled me to his chest, kissing the top of my head.

“You take care of our girl. I’ll make sure this one clears out quickly,” Grissele told him.

My face was buried in Bane’s chest, and I couldn’t see the other two as they left, but I heard both sets of their heels as they walked away.

“Fucking hell, baby. What happened?” he asked, running his hands over my arms and stepping back to see if he could find anything on me that was harmed.

“I don’t know,” I replied. “She’d never been physical before. Today, things just escalated.”

He was studying my dirty, scraped hands and dusting them off when his eyes shot back up to my face. “Escalated? Meaning she did something to you before today?”

“Just verbally. She’s not very fond of me.”

His eyes narrowed. “What do you mean by verbally?”

I sighed, figuring she’d been fired now so this wasn’t me telling on her because I couldn’t handle it myself. “She would say nasty, hurtful things, make me shovel out stalls when you were gone, get her coffee, other chores.”

He lowered my hands. “Make you?”

I shrugged. “Well, I mean, she told me to. I did it. I was trying to win her over. She’s a tough nut to crack. Clearly, I failed.”

Bane turned and started stalking toward the stables. Then, his hand reached back, and he pulled a gun from beneath his shirt.

What the heck?! What was with these people and their guns?

“Bane!” I shouted and started running after him.

He didn’t slow down; in fact, his long strides got more determined.

“Where is the bitch?!” he roared as he walked into the stables.

“Oh, are we not through yet?” Grissele asked calmly.

Holy crap! They were all deranged. Nothing about what I had just told him warranted being shot.

“BANE, PLEASE!” I cried out loudly.

He finally stopped and turned back to me. The fury blazing in his eyes was unsettling.

“Don’t do this. Put it away. She is leaving. I am fine. She did nothing to me that I’d not dealt with before. I was raised by—”

“That’s not helping, pretty girl,” he warned. “You start telling me you were mistreated right under my goddamn nose, and I will have to kill someone.”

Dang. Not what I’d been trying to do.

I held up both hands. “I’m not. I wasn’t. I love working here.”

His chest was heaving as he stared at me. The gun hanging by his side.

Adalee stepped out of the office with her leather satchel over her shoulder. At some point, Grissele had retrieved her gun from her purse, and she had it pointed at the woman again.

“Not just yet. We might not be done here,” she told Adalee.

“Please, Bane. Please,” I pleaded. “Let her go. I am begging you.”

If he shot that woman for me, I’d never forgive myself.

He glared at Adalee. “Come here,” he ordered.

She looked sick. Like she might throw up at any moment. I was right there with her.

“Bane, if you shoot her, I will blame myself. Forever.”

His eyes met mine, and his nostrils flared.

He shoved her hard, and she fell down, much the same way I had.

“Get on your fucking knees, bitch,” he snarled.

She scrambled to her knees as she began to sob.

“Bane,” I begged.

Why wasn’t Grissele helping me? Surely, she saw how wrong this was.

“Apologize to her,” he ordered.

Adalee looked at him, and he pointed the gun at her head.

“Not me! Look at Halo and fucking apologize.”

She turned to me, fear taking over any other emotion in her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Not good enough!” he barked.

I looked at Grissele, silently pleading for her help.

She shrugged. “I agree. She can do better than that. It was weak.”

And to think I had decided that Crosby had taken after his mother and Bane had more of his father in him. Seemed I hadn’t known this about Grissele.

“I am sorry,” she wailed this time.

I looked down at her. “Okay, it’s fine.”

“NO, the fuck it is not. Stay your ass on the ground. Now, tell her that you are sorry for every fucking word you spoke to her. For everything you made her do. Tell her that she is the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen and you are jealous of her. You want what she has. You want to be like her. That you wish your smile lit up a goddamn room the way hers does.”

The flicker in Adalee’s eyes almost looked as if she’d rather him pull that trigger. I wasn’t going to let that happen if I could help it.

“That’s not necessary,” I told him.

“Yeah, it is, pretty girl. I need to hear it. I need her to say it. Because if she doesn’t, I can’t promise you I’m gonna be able to put this gun away.”

She let out a sob, then began, “I’m sorry for everything I said to you and the things I asked you to do—”

“MADE! Don’t paraphrase my fucking words,” Bane growled.

“Made. Made you do. And you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, and I’m jealous of you. I want what you have. I want to be like you.” She stopped, sobbing again.

“FINISH IT!” Bane shouted.

She was shaking as she forced herself to look back at me. “I wish my smile lit up the room the way yours does.”

Grissele finally stepped forward and placed a hand on Bane’s arm, pushing it down until he lowered the gun. “We don’t need to make her take the Lord’s name in vain. Might as well not add to her sins,” she said gently.

“Please, can she go now?” I asked him.

He nodded his head once, his eyes not leaving mine.

She scrambled to get up, not making eye contact with anyone. We all stood there as she hurried toward the exit until Grissele turned to follow her, making sure she left.NôvelD(ram)a.ôrg owns this content.

“That was … a lot,” I said, not having the exact words for what had just happened.

“She deserved much worse.”

“No, she did not,” I replied, worried he was going to do something more.

He slipped his gun back into its holster and walked toward me. “She knew who she worked for. She’d signed the NDA. She knew how we handle business,” he told me.

“It was just some mean-girl bullying,” I said, shaking my head in exasperation.

He gripped my chin, and his eyes bored into me. “No, pretty girl, it wasn’t. It was disrespecting and abusing the woman I love. That’s a fucking death sentence.”

I blinked. There was so much wrong with that way of thinking, but none of it mattered. Not now. Not when he’d just said he loved me. I swallowed the lump rising in my throat.

“You love me.” My words came out breathlessly.

Deep down, I’d thought he did, but I had been so wired to believe that I imagined things I wanted to be true. I had been scared maybe he didn’t love me. Maybe it was just deep affection.

His lips slowly curled into a sexy smile. “Come on, sweet girl. Did you really not know that?”

I let out a shaky breath. “I … I thought you did—or I hoped you did. But you hadn’t said it.”

His eyebrows lifted slightly. “Ever think I was waiting on you? Maybe I wanted to be sure your heart had room for me too.” He caressed my face. “You loved my brother. My finding you, falling hard for you—there was no one else for me. Hell, I had never been in love. You are the first and only. I was waiting until you were ready to hear it.”

I hadn’t loved Crosby. I’d cared about him. I had needed the attention he gave me. I did love him as the father of this child he’d given me. But what I felt for Bane far exceeded anything I’d felt for his brother. I wasn’t sure I could say that though. Maybe he needed to believe his brother had been loved.

“I love you,” I told him. “I love you so much that it feels like I’m going to burst with it. You’re every fairy tale I never believed in. Every wish I didn’t know to make. I love you.”

His mouth covered mine hard as his arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly against him. I went up on my tiptoes, needing this. Him. Always needing him.