The Wicked Mrs. Gastrell (English version)

Flashback

“Your son is really handsome, Karina. The father is obviously a foreigner. He has beautiful eyes. Does he know that he has a son? Why! Ask for money! The dollar exchange rate is big now and for a long time he didn’t contribute, you’re sure to get a lot of money!”

I didn’t know whether to be happy or hurt by what Kristine said so I just chose to smile and not say a word. I turned my gaze to the son who was now happily chasing the neighbor’s pet dog.

Errol is the love of my life. He’s my light, the one guiding me in this lonely existence of mine. My son is the only joy I have of this world. I wanted to be alive and live for him. I promised myself that I will be successful for him, for his future. I will do everything for him.

Time passed quickly. I did not realize that for more than two years I would be able to raise and take care of a child. Despite the financial aspect, I make sure that I fill my child with love. I was able to support him well even though I was only making a living working as a chambermaid in a small hotel in town during the day and a seamstress at night. I got six months of skill training which is the reason why I was able to get a job.

Fortunately, I was able to leave the child with the neighbor. Sometimes it is Kristine who takes care of him to relieve her sadness. She was recently involved in a car accident. The car she was riding in collided with a truck. Good thing it wasn’t too fatal. But her baby didn’t make it. She was already bleeding due to a panic attack.

As Errol grows up, he looks more and more like his father except for his eyes which were inherited from Donya Teodora. I have tried several times to contact Cholo to introduce our son but I am discouraged.

I am afraid that he will take the child from me, which is very likely to happen. I know he can take Errol from me. They are powerful, rich, and influential. They can do whatever they want to an ordinary person like me just like what the Asturians did to my family.

I will die when that happens. My son is the only thing that makes me happy, the only reason why I’m still alive. If they take away the only reason why I breathe and continue to fight, I will not hesitate to fight even if I die because I would rather die than live every day without my child.

Yesterday’s wound is still fresh. I still remember the day they took my entire family away from me and I will never let that happen again.

“I won’t do that. All his money is now his. My son and I are happy now. He is even more pitiful because he won’t be able to see how loving my son is.”

Kristine shook her head then reached for the glass of juice that was sitting on the table in her yard. “For now. Errol will grow up and he will ask who and where his father is. Today is a different time, Karina. There is social media. You can try to find him. I’m also curious about his face.”

“Don’t worry, Kristine. I don’t even know his name. I can’t even remember his face, so how can I find him?” I lied. “And for what? We don’t need him,” I added.

I stood up and carried my son who was crying because he couldn’t catch the dog that went out of the gate.

“Kristine, I’ll go first. It’s almost noon and I have to cook. You should come by later. It’s Sunday after all. Errol, say goodbye to Aunt Tin.” I wiped his wet face and kissed his head.

“Bye bye Tintin.” He waved at his godmother who smiled and waved back.

“Bye Errol. I’ll have lunch there, Karina. I’ll bring chicken,” she shouted when we were at the gate.

“Alright. We’ll wait for you later.”

I put my child down and took his hand. We walked slowly. I’m smiling the whole time looking at him. The weather was not hot and we were in the shade of the trees on the side of the road so I let him walk. The new small house we moved to is also nearby. Errol laughs every time he sees a dog passing by. He tries to chase but he can’t run because I’m holding him by his hand.

“Mama, dog,” he pointed to another dog.

I nodded while pinching his red cheek softly. “Yes dog. It’s a mama dog.”

His face crumpled and shook his head. “No. Baby dog.”

I also shook my head. “Dog. Say mama dog.”

He stopped walking and repeated ‘dog’ while pointing to the dog ahead. I laughed and took him, kissed him, and buried his face in my neck.

“Okay. That’s a baby dog. A baby dog.”

“Yes baby dog,” he said happily and pointed again at the dog that had already passed.

I just watched my son smiling. He gives me so much joy every time we are together. He is my hope, the only person who gives joy in my life. He is everything to me.

I learned to live happily again because of Errol. I realized that it is still good to be alive, that there is still a reason to wake up every morning.

I looked at the time on the clock. It’s almost eleven o’clock so I have to hurry home. I took the umbrella over my shoulder and opened it with one hand. There is no more shade from the tree ahead and it is quite warm around.

I kissed my son’s cheek then sped up walking. “Let’s hurry, Errol. Mama hasn’t eaten anything at home yet. You must also be hungry too.”Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.

I stopped and looked at both lanes of the road. Even though there are almost no cars here, I still have to be careful. Just now, I heard someone coming. I closed the umbrella and waited for the car to pass. It stopped and honked at me so I decided to cross. I even smiled at the driver even though I couldn’t see his face.

But what happened next was not what I expected. Suddenly the engine of the car sped towards our direction. My eyes widened in fear and shock. I tightened my grip on my son and thought quickly. If I went back I would be hit so I just ran to the other lane as best I could.

But it was too late. Before I could even step to cross the distance completely, I was hit by a speeding car. Errol’s cry still registered in my head before I rolled down the road. With my eyes closed, I held my son tightly in my arms to protect him. I heard him crying before I felt something heavy hit my head.

Even though it was against my heart, my arms lost their strength and I let go of my child who was no longer crying. I tried to open my eyes but I couldn’t so I felt the ground around with my fingers.

The first thing I felt was wet and sticky. Blood.

“E-Errol! Errol son…”

Even though my head and body hurt, I forced myself to get up and crawl to find my son.

“Errol, son. Errol…” I began to wail at that point. Memories of my father’s pale face and Diego’s bloody body flashed back. I shook my head and tried to clear the images. Nope. My son cannot share their same fate.

A few more minutes of eerie silence surrounded the area. I kept groping on the pavement until I grabbed something cold. I resisted the fear that gripped me deep inside and poured out the strength to open my eyes that I wish I had never done.

My son’s eyes were closed and was lying lifeless on the road. He is bathing in his own blood, his white shorts and shirt that I bought yesterday on the sidewalk are wet with red liquid.

But now, I can’t even see the true color of his clothes because of the blood. There is a lot of blood coming directly from my child’s head.

“E-Errol… E-Errol…” I stammered as I carefully took my child from the pavement into my arms.

“Errol… Errol!” I shouted when even I shivered at the cold feeling from the son’s body.

I looked around for help. I can’t panic. My son is alive. My son will live so I have to find a way. I need to find someone who can ask for help.

“Help… Help! Help!” I screamed as tears flowed.

Stop it, Karina. ‘Do not Cry. Why will you cry? Your child will live. Errol is alive, I convinced myself.

I heard a sound behind me so I cheered up. I looked at the person who got out of the car with a pale face.

“Please, help me. Help my son. Please have mercy. Let’s take him to the hospital. My son is still alive. He’s still warm. You can touch him. This blood… all this blood came from me, not from my son. Please. Come closer. Help me… Help us, please. Please… Please… Errol son… She’s here. She’s here to help us so just hold on. Just hold on to me, my love.”

When I looked up at the woman, she was crying while shaking her head and covering her mouth with her hand.

“Please, what else are you doing there? Ma’am… Ma’am Elizabeth, help us. Help me and my son.”

But instead of stepping towards us, she ran back to the car. I was left in despair. If only I could stand up, I can’t even feel like I had a leg.

All I did was crawl across the other road where people were passing by so they could see me better because there weren’t many trees in that part. There is a path there that residents make a shortcut to.

Clutching my son in one arm, I rested my elbow on the concrete and pulled myself up. I heard the sound that my bones and the cement made. I also know that I’m full of scratches and my flesh is exposed on my arm but miraculously I don’t feel any pain. I was too focused on how I could save Errol.

It’s just you. You’re the only one left for me, son. I won’t lose you. Mama will never give up.

The sun was high in the sky. The tears, cold, and blood had spread all over Errol and my body. I’m getting weak and my son’s body got colder in my hands but this won’t stop me from crawling for his safety.

I stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. In the distance, I could hear some people rioting. I kissed my son’s head and smiled.

Thank you. Help is on the way. My son will live. Errol will live. He will see his father again…

… which will never come to happen.

The ambulance came and took us both in. When we arrived at the hospital, Errol was declared dead on arrival.

In countless times, I have lost the torch in my life.

Do I really have no right to be happy? Everyone I love left me, Dad first, then Diego, Cholo, and lastly my son, Errol.

Is this fate’s way of telling me that I should stop living? I wish I had stopped living long ago. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe I’m just not meant for this world.

And for the first time in my entire life, I insulted the person I owed my life to. I insulted my mother on why she gave birth to me. She should have aborted me long ago so that I would not have experienced this. I cursed her in my mind over and over as I sat outside the funeral home while slapping myself.

You’re numb. Be numb please.

Because maybe… Maybe when that happens, I won’t feel this screaming pain screaming that’s slaving me away. Maybe when I can’t feel anything anymore, I can get my son’s body from behind the door.