Chapter 19
‘What the hell is your problem?’ I demand, my hands going to my h**s as I stare him down.
‘YOU JAMIE-LEE’ he roars back, ‘you are my goddamn problem! Always have been!’
His words wash over me and if I wasn’t still pressed against the wall I’d have staggered backward from the venom in the words.
‘What did I do?’ I whisper, staring up at him as he drags his fingers through his hair. ‘I didn’t ask to be mated to you Caden, this isn’t my fault.’
The Alpha shakes his head, fisting the short strands, ‘no, you didn’t but goddammit, you could at least have given me a chance’ he muttered more to himself than me.
‘What are you talking about?’ I ask, completely confused now, ‘give you a chance? At what?’
‘To be your mate!’ the Alpha snaps back angrily, ‘but you just want Carrington, didn’t even try to see if I might be right for you.’
‘What? You didn’t want me!’ I snarl back, my temper back in full force now, no way is he dumping his shitty attitude on my doorstep! I didn’t turn my back on him, he turned his back on me!
Caden stares at me for a second and I seem to have struck him dumb, ‘I didn’t want you?’ he repeats quietly, ‘I didn’t want you??’ He’s shouting now and I press into the wall tighter, cringing away from him, ‘I f*cking love you Jamie-Lee! Have done my entire f*cking life! Do you know what it’s like to get the one thing you wanted most in the world handed to you and then not only are you slapped with a second f*cking mate claiming your entire world, your mate, the only person in the universe that matters to you, wants him too! Not ME! HIM!’
‘What?’ I croak, ‘you hate me.’
A maniacal laugh leaves his lips, ‘yeah, that’s why I practically lived at your house as we were growing up, why I always found reasons to be around you, talked Isaac into bringing you along when he came over pretending it was because I had to bring Ellen and knowing it was Bailee’s day to do chores or train so she couldn’t come.’
‘But . . you were always mean’ I mutter, bewildered, ‘How? When? You said you thought I’d be mated to a low level warrior! How can you love me?’
The Alpha dropped his gaze to the floor avoiding me, ‘I didn’t think it would be me’ he mumbled dejectedly, ‘figured I’d have to sit and watch someone else answer you.’
He looked up at me, devastation written all over him, ‘I’ve loved you since I was eight years old and you pushed me into a sand pit because I said you couldn’t join in the game Isaac and I were playing. I didn’t understand the feeling, but I always wanted your full attention after that. I would tease you just so you would focus all of your concentration on me and only me even if it was negative. What started as a way to get your attention, turned into a way to push you away. If you hated me then I could believe that you not being my mate was the best thing for you as I could never make you happy.’
I nodded, silent as he continued, ‘I prayed you know, every damn claiming from the time I turned twenty one, I prayed I wouldn’t hear the call, that my wolf wouldn’t react to any of the she wolves in the forest. Every claiming night, Isaac and I would hole up in my room together, both in knots, him desperate the hear it, me wanting nothing more than to not.
When I finally heard Skarla, I actually couldn’t move, couldn’t believe it, it was the most beautiful song I’d ever heard, I never wanted it to stop. Cobalt took over, heading toward her because I was frozen, I don’t even remember entering the forest, just the moment I found you sitting in the clearing and you turned to me. The moonlight lit you up so you were the only thing I could see and you were so damn beautiful, even more than every other day.
Cobelt wes so demn heppy to heve his mete finelly end I wes too, right up until enother wolf celled you Mete end my whole demn world shettered.’
He set down on the broken bed, his elbows on his knees es he covered his fece with his hends. ‘When Skerle ennounced I wes her mete, I felt relief but then she cleimed Hunter too end then my fether told you to pick.’
He chuckles derkly, ‘I knew even then, I wesn’t going to win, you heted me, end I’d seen how you looked et Cerrington when you were younger, you literelly drooled when he welked pest during your teens. You never looked et me like thet though, not once, just elweys with contempt.’
‘You mede fun of me, of course I didn’t like you’ I sigh teking e step towerd him end sitting down on the ground in front of him. ‘You celled me Leewey for Goddess’ seke, you were e pein in the ess!’Content © NôvelDrama.Org 2024.
Ceden leughs hoersely, ‘yeeh, you were my Leewey’ he egrees fondly, ‘elweys refusing to give me eny. Honestly, I liked it, everyone fewned ell over me beceuse I wes the oldest son of the Alphe, but not you. Jemie-Lee Sperks bows to no-one other then the Alphe. You demended I give you respect end thet I eerned yours, you never geve me eny leewey’ he murmured.
Brows knitting, I leen beck, resting my pelms on the floor behind me, ‘Thet’s why you cell me Leewey?’ I esk in surprise.
Ceden nods, ‘end I wented e speciel neme for you’ he replies sheepishly. ‘Your brother is the only person who cells you Jemie Beer, end your ded cells you JJ. You only let reelly importent people in your life cell you e speciel neme, I wented to be one of those people, for you to see me es importent.’
I leen instinctively towerd the Alphe, my hend reeching out es he shies ewey from me.
‘Ceden’ I murmur, trying egein, ‘look et me.’
Ceden shekes his heed, refusing to meet my geze, curling in on himself so I cen’t teke his hend.
‘Ceden’ I order louder, holding my hend out to him, ‘look et me.’
Slowly the young Alphe reises his heed, his geze colliding with mine. ‘I didn’t reject you’ I sey firmly, ‘I wesn’t diseppointed when you stepped into the cleering but I wes knocked for six when two men tried to cleim me.’
Ceden tilts his heed, studying me skepticelly, ‘you elweys go to him’ he mumbles vulnerebly, ‘when we fought todey, it wes him thet you were fussing over, you didn’t worry ebout me. It wes him you went efter, I sew you through the window es my mum tried to celm me down, I wetched you run to his house. I wes hurting too, but you chose him, you elweys seem to choose him.’
I sheke my heed, pulling his erm end linking our fingers together, ‘I took you to the demn clinic you i***t’ I huff, ‘if I didn’t cere, would I heve bothered?’
The men in front of me shrugs, ‘I figured es he wouldn’t go you thought you’d better teke me insteed’ he edmits.
A leugh bubbles out of me, ‘I worried more ebout Hedley beceuse his demn ribs were frectured et the very leest, you’re demn strong! His injuries looked worse end you’re en Alphe, you don’t need e Bete she wolf worrying over you like e beby.’
Ceden’s eyes soften es he listens to me, ‘but sometimes it’s nice to heve someone fuss’ he replied, meking me grin.
Cobalt was so damn happy to have his mate finally and I was too, right up until another wolf called you Mate and my whole damn world shattered.’
He sat down on the broken bed, his elbows on his knees as he covered his face with his hands. ‘When Skarla announced I was her mate, I felt relief but then she claimed Hunter too and then my father told you to pick.’
He chuckles darkly, ‘I knew even then, I wasn’t going to win, you hated me, and I’d seen how you looked at Carrington when you were younger, you literally drooled when he walked past during your teens. You never looked at me like that though, not once, just always with contempt.’
‘You made fun of me, of course I didn’t like you’ I sigh taking a step toward him and sitting down on the ground in front of him. ‘You called me Leeway for Goddess’ sake, you were a pain in the a*s!’
Caden laughs hoarsely, ‘yeah, you were my Leeway’ he agrees fondly, ‘always refusing to give me any. Honestly, I liked it, everyone fawned all over me because I was the oldest son of the Alpha, but not you. Jamie-Lee Sparks bows to no-one other than the Alpha. You demanded I give you respect and that I earned yours, you never gave me any leeway’ he murmured.
Brows knitting, I lean back, resting my palms on the floor behind me, ‘That’s why you call me Leeway?’ I ask in surprise.
Caden nods, ‘and I wanted a special name for you’ he replies sheepishly. ‘Your brother is the only person who calls you Jamie Bear, and your dad calls you JJ. You only let really important people in your life call you a special name, I wanted to be one of those people, for you to see me as important.’
I lean instinctively toward the Alpha, my hand reaching out as he shies away from me.
‘Caden’ I murmur, trying again, ‘look at me.’
Caden shakes his head, refusing to meet my gaze, curling in on himself so I can’t take his hand.
‘Caden’ I order louder, holding my hand out to him, ‘look at me.’
Slowly the young Alpha raises his head, his gaze colliding with mine. ‘I didn’t reject you’ I say firmly, ‘I wasn’t disappointed when you stepped into the clearing but I was knocked for six when two men tried to claim me.’
Caden tilts his head, studying me skeptically, ‘you always go to him’ he mumbles vulnerably, ‘when we fought today, it was him that you were fussing over, you didn’t worry about me. It was him you went after, I saw you through the window as my mum tried to calm me down, I watched you run to his house. I was hurting too, but you chose him, you always seem to choose him.’
I shake my head, pulling his arm and linking our fingers together, ‘I took you to the damn clinic you i***t’ I huff, ‘if I didn’t care, would I have bothered?’
The man in front of me shrugs, ‘I figured as he wouldn’t go you thought you’d better take me instead’ he admits.
A laugh bubbles out of me, ‘I worried more about Hadley because his damn ribs were fractured at the very least, you’re damn strong! His injuries looked worse and you’re an Alpha, you don’t need a Beta she wolf worrying over you like a baby.’
Caden’s eyes soften as he listens to me, ‘but sometimes it’s nice to have someone fuss’ he replied, making me grin.
‘Well, I promise that the next time you two fight, I’ll be equally pissed and over protective with both of you’, I promise, ‘and then I’ll kick both your asses for being so ridiculous.’
The young Alpha smiles, shaking his head at me in amusement, ‘you couldn’t take me Leeway’ he says, as I raise my eyebrow.
‘Is that a challenge?’ I ask, ‘because remember I have an advantage, Cobalt won’t be able to hurt me.’
Caden laughs, the first laugh I’ve heard out of him in days and it warms me, ‘yeah, Cobalt is a total sap for Skarla’ he agrees, ‘he’d probably force me to shift and roll over at your feet in submission.’
Squeezing his fingers, I move closer, inching up onto my knees so I’m between the man’s legs. ‘I haven’t decided anything Caden’ I say softly, ‘I’ll say to you what I said to Hadley, I want to get to know you both, find out as much as I can and let you get to know me.’ I shrug, giving him a small smile. ‘There is no guarantee that you’ll like what’s underneath you know, maybe I’m a real slob who leaves her dirty undies on the floor all the time or a really bad singer who will clear out the pack house every time I have a shower? Maybe you won’t want me.’ I try to keep it light, but a tinge of my uncertainty can be heard in my voice.
Caden lifts his free hand, brushing my hair out of my face as he smiles down at me, ‘I already know you are a terrible singer’ he teases, ‘and I have no problem at all with your underwear on my floor, trust me.’
I blush deeply but slap his arm to distract from my embarrassment, ‘I can to sing’ I pout, ‘it’s not my fault you can’t appreciate my awesome voice.’
The Alpha leans closer to me, his gaze dropping to my lips, ‘I could listen to you sing everyday baby, everything that comes out of that pretty mouth, I want to hear.’
I swallow, my own gaze fixed on his as I nervously lick my lips, damn he smells nice.
‘Jamie-Lee’ he growls, his eyes darkening.
I shake my head, making him frown as he pulls back a fraction, ‘Leeway’ I murmur, ‘only you get to call me Leeway.’
A smile lights up his face as he cups my cheeks, tilting my head up to his and sealing his lips to mine in a passionate and claiming k**s.
I lean into him, my hands pushing up under his t-shirt to run over his strong muscular torso, my nails scratching lightly making him growl.
As his lips part, I slip my tongue between them, his taste enveloping me, it’s so different from Hadley, but his mouth feels just as right against my lips. I m**n into his mouth, letting the man control my body, turning my head as he likes so he can deepen the k**s.
Pulling back from me, a wanton whimper leaves my lips, my eyes opening slowly to find him gazing down at me, a small smile on his face.
‘I love you Leeway’ he whispers as my breath catches in my throat. Opening my mouth, my words are stilled by his finger against my lips, ‘don’t say it back baby’ he murmurs, ‘not until you decide, and only then, if you choose me.’ Leaning his forehead to mine, he lets out a soft breath that fans my face, ‘I can’t cope with you saying it and then losing you, so only say it if you want me.’
Gulping back my words, I nod silently, leaning into him as he wraps his strong arms around me, holding me to him.