35
That’s what I felt ever since that night where I watched Dillon. I couldn’t make sense of it. I knew that Theo made it clear that he would never want a romantic relationship with her again but when you have a child it’s different.
I could barely catch a wink last night. The media were having a storm making it such a big thing. Anything to get Theo back in the spotlight obviously.
I couldn’t help it, I read through the comments people were having about me.
I was ruining their family, Dillon clearly wasn’t happy and wanted his parents together and I knew he was acting differently to me.
He may be a baby but I think he knows im in the way.
I sneaked into the pool at 5 since I couldn’t even sleep. I stripped from my clothes and dived into the pool. I vented my annoyance and stress into swimming laps. There was nothing more therapeutic than swimming for me.
The thick water were barriers that I was trying to breakthrough.
I emerged from the water breathing heavily as i held onto the side of the pool.
I didn’t want this to affect my work, I needed to be on game for my students and I can’t be stressing about this and be a good coach for them.
I don’t think I’m in too deep with Theo, I think I can manage calling it off and to let us both concentrate on what really matters.
Since it was 6. 15 I jumped out of the pool and grabbed some clothes ready for this mornings training. I needed to assess Scott to see if he was ready for this week’s match.
” Hey tina, have you seen Elle” I heard Theo say from my office. Oh shit, I really didn’t want him to see me. I didn’t answer his calls last night so no doubt he’s wondering why.
I hope that tina makes up some lie.
” Uh, I just got in so I’m not sure” nice.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“You’re not lying to me are you” Oh shit.
I watched Tina through a small gap. She managed to keep her form and not waver even with a guy like Theo staring at her with purpose. Id melt right there.
” Hey Theo are you looking for a coach” I heard Scott say walking into my office. I ducked down and hid. Scott has no remorse, he will drop me right in it without a second thought.
” Yeah, have you seen her”
I literally crossed my fingers.
” She went with bryony to the nurse’s office” My eyes widened at the very clever save from Scott.
“Oh is bryony okay, I thought that was all sorted now” Oh you sweet man. Theo would know better than to go looking for me there since it must be a private matter.
This would buy me time.
” yeah im not sure, you know girls” Scott shrugged.
Since Scott lied I know that he knows im in here hiding so im guessing ill be blackmailed any minute now.
Theo ended up walking out of the office and heading down the hallway.
The door to the pool opened and Scott stood there a smirk on his lips. ” Why you ignoring your man coach,” he says walking in which a nervous Tina.
” You’re not going to end it are you” Tina rushed out. I had already discussed this with her last night so she knows what I’ve been thinking about.
Scott widened his eyes. ” wait what”
I sighed, I don’t know what im going to do but I have to do something for the sake of one little boys happiness.
” It’s nothing, go get ready” I went to push him away but he stood his ground. Not like I expected anything else.
“Oh no coach, I saved your butt so you’re going to tell us”
And there’s the blackmail.
This is just ridiculous, I don’t have to tell anyone anything. Not only do I not know what to tell myself but I have every right to keep this strictly personal.
” Hey im still your coach so stop harassing me and get in the fucking pool Scott” I wasted no time in walking straight into my office and slamming the door.
As soon as the door was shut i leant back on it breathing deeply.
When it was 5 minutes into training I grabbed my phone and headed out to the pool. I counted heads when I was happy that everyone had turned up well pardon Thomas I started writing on the board the plan for today’s training.
“I’m fine”
Bryony glanced over at me before silently walking away and jumping on the pool. Tina was now staring at me. She was clearly feeling sorry for me and i hated that.
This is why you don’t mix work with pleasure and i should’ve stuck by my rules from the start.
I ended up making them do circuits. It was prime time for meets and if they wanted to get noticed by the league they would need to get better. Bryony is pretty much the only one i can rely on at the moment.
” how do you think you did” I sat crossed-legged by the pool typing something into my phone. Bryony was breathing heavily from exhaustion as she looked up at me.
” Good… i think”
She was hesitant. I don’t know if that was because she knew she didnt do her best r because she could sense my anger.
” you were 2 seconds behind your average time, is that going to get you into the leagues?” i asked her.
Finally i looked over at her noticing the others staring over nervously.
“No”
” exactly, go back and try again after Benjamin” i said waving my hand to dismiss her. All i could hear was the water washing back and forth with the small chatter between them all.
Was i being too tough, yes 100% but the Elle they met on the first week needs to make a return.
“I actually can’t, i need to leave early coach” silence washed over the room as bryony spoke.
” well by all means go, dont let me stop you”
It wasnt my career she was jeaprodising. We literally train for an hour what is so important she can’t wait.
I was met by silence.
That was until the door opened up and i made the mistake of looking over. Filling the doorway was the strong frame of Theo.
” anyone else want to finish, got any important dentist appointments i need to know about” i said as soon Bryony slammed the door. I didnt even flinch i probably deserved that.
” No coach” They all responded knowing that i was waiting for an actual answer.
” Pair up and time each other. If you don’t meet your average time stated on Tina’s chart then you keep going until you meet it” I gave Tina a look before standing up. Theo stepped forward his worried eyes meeting mine.
I stepped back as he tried to reach for me.
” in the office”
I’m not about to give everyone first aisle seats to my reality tv show.
I could feel him following behind me very closely. When I arrived in the office he closed the door as i went straight for my chair.
” is there a reason why your making everyone uncomfortable today?” was the first thing he said to me. He grabbed a chair and sat in front of me.
” I’m just doing my job” I stated knowing fully that I was creating a real shitty mood.
I’m sure bryony had a solid reason for leaving early but I had to go about being a bitch didn’t i.
“No you’re taking out your anger on those poor kids and they don’t deserve it so tell me why exactly is that” He carried on talking.
I know this, they don’t deserve this but the damage is done.
” I don’t think we should see eachother anymore” Did i really just say that outloud or am i still thinking about what im going to say.
“What did you just say”
Nope defientely said it outloud.
I sighed, ” for the sake of your son Theo it’s best if we dont go any further” i explained to him. I made the mistake of daring to look up at his face. I don’t think ive ever seen him this angry.
“Since when did you care about anyone when it comes to us elle”
Is he for real. ” i care when its fucking little boy who wants their parents to love eachother. Even he can see im in the way”
I gasped as he stood up and grabbed my chin between his fingers.
” I dont love her Elle you know that, is this because i rushed off the other day because im sorry but i needed to know she was okay shes the mother of my only son for christ sakes”
“Exactly”
He dropped his head shaking his head.” fucking unbelievable” he muttered finally allowing some space between us.
” He told me she loves you” i whispered.
Theo lifted his head. ” He’s a baby ofcourse he wants his mom and dad together what kid wouldn’t but that doesnt mean its whats right”
” I’m not debating this, i wont stand in between a boys happiness” i shook my head, this wasnt up for discussion id made my decision.
This time he rounded the desk pulling me tight agaisnt his body. This was how he was going to make me weak, physical fucking contact.
“And what about my happiness, did that seem to cross your mind” he whsipered leaning down to brush his lips with mine.
I turned my head ” you won’t be happy unless your son is so this sorts out everything. I want you to” i moaned as he slammed his lips against mine.
He tried to deepen the kiss but i wasn’t going to let him.
” exactly Elle, you want me and even if you think you do, you dont know whats best for me” He braced me against him.
” i told you this is not up for debate. I wont be happy staying with you if i have to see that boy cry and beg for his parents to love eachther so please dont make this harder than it already is” i pulled away from him. I was glad when he finally let me go.
This was hard, but i knew that this was what was best in the interest of one little boy. I needed Theo to understand that this was what was best.
” So what now, youre just going to go back to being ” he paused for a few seconds
” a cold heaerted bitch, if thats what i have to do to do my job correctly, yes” i shrugged.
He widened his eyes ” i didnt mean that” he defended his words and i admit i put those words in his mouth.
“It doesn’t matter i know its true. I hope you know I’m doing this because i care for you and Dillon” Theo grabbed onto the desk i watched his fingers tighten around the wood.
” If you cared about me you wouldn’t end it like this, but since you know me so well just do whatever” He roughly turned on his heel ripping the door open and letting it slam on his way out.
I could see him storm through the halls, his large frame knocking with the guys walking by.
I ended up hiding in my office for an hour not responding to any of the knocks on my door. I had no energy to face anyone.
I was able to calm myself down after walking into my favourite restaurant and ordering a big juicy burger with salad and fries. I recieved an email from Melissa.
Hey coach,
I really hope you’re okay we really are sorry for letting you down today but i thought you should know that Bryony went to a hospital appointment earlier and todays session really affected her. She told me not to tell you but i think it would do her some good if she could hear from you.
Well now i feel like utter shit.Content held by NôvelDrama.Org.
I quicky paid for my meal and headed to my car. I managed to get the address from ryan to go and visit bryony at home.
I pulled up to her address and knocked on her door.
After a few shouts and the sound of dogs scratching at the door it was opened to reveal Bryony dressed head to toe in sweats looking rough.
” come here” i opened my arms up for her seeing the tears brimming at her eyes.
Sometime the strongest ones need that support. Under the surface they may not be so strong.
“I’m scared coach, what if i… i dont want to” she struggled to get her words out.
“Whats been going on” i ask her. Her mom had come to sit down with us but was confident that bryony would be able to tell me on her own.
” I’m still getting sick after i eat and i don’t know if maybe its something else. What if I have a more serious illness” she tells me her hands fiddling with her jumper strings.
” You might do” I could tell her mom was shocked by my honest answer.
I held my hand up ” let me speak”
” When I was in intense training I struggled with keeping it together. I had stress from the team to do really well and I also was pushing myself to impossible lengths” don’t mind the pun.
” I got myself sick, I was suffering from bulimia which made me sick after every big meal and after every race. But I got through it and that’s my point. We don’t panic we calm down and gather what we know and we find a solution. Which you are not alone in, you have your mother, Josh and me” I grabbed a hold of her hand.
She needed to understand that seeking help is the best step forward. Nobody should ever feel scared and alone.
” I’ll arrange for a specialist who manages cases like these in sports. She helped me and I’m sure she can help you out also” I said giving her hand a squeeze.
I need to get back to doing what I love with no distractions.