SAGE

Chapter 30: Happy birthday dad

Sage Miller

"I'm sorry for my attitude the past two days. My emotions were all over the place." Connor said as he

sat my breakfast in front of me.

I sighed.

"It's okay. You're human and you're allowed to feel and be bitchy and sad once in a while." I told him.

I didn't know why he was acting the way he was but I was glad to see the Connor I liked back.

Today he was gentle maybe it's because he knew that today is dad's birthday and he knew this day

could be hard on me. But this year it wasn't so hard.

"But still, I'm sorry."

After that we ate in silence. The sound of our forks colliding with the plates filled the silence.

"I talked to mom yesterday." Connor declared after some time.

My eyes snapped to his face but he wasn't looking at me. His head was casted down.

I was shocked, the last time they talked they weren't good. And I felt like this talk was different to how

they're last one went.

That's good, right?

"Ummm.... yeah?" I said not really knowing what to say. I figured he needed someone to talk to.

I'm on a roll this week. First Sebastian now Connor.

Snap out of it dick and listen.

I mentally cussed myself for being so cocky and childish at a time like this.

"Yeah." He confirmed. "I guess I've been so caught up in my anger I forgot what's important. I was so

selfish with everything. You know."

I nodded and didn't say a word. That's what he needed an ear to listen.

"I went to my house and we had a long talk. It really helped. I didn't take into consideration how much

she sacrificed for me. She never really got a chance to be a teenage because of me. I should've given

her a break. Everyone makes mistakes even though some are greater than other but we're all human.

Mistakes are inevitable. Mon made me realise that what they did wasn't intentional and they didn't

mean to hurt me by it."

When he didn't continue, I knew he was finished.

"So what are you going to do now?" I asked him.

"I guess I got closure and right now I want to move on. I've acknowledged that it will take time for our

relationship to be they way it was but I'm willing to try. I forgave her. And about my father, I dont wanna

know him. Im good." He explained so beautifully that I felt tears stinging in my eyes.

"Even if someone told you he knew who he is and where he Is?" I asked graphically.

"Yes. I know bringing him into my life will hurt mom. I don't need that. My mom sacrificed a lot when he

left me before I was even born." He said.

Now do I tell him or do I keep quiet. I decided to keep quiet. He said he doesn't want to know him.

"I know how lucky I am to have a good relationship with my mom. Out of the trio I'm the lucky one to

have a loving mom. You and Sebastian aren't so lucky." He continued and I noted how he included

Sebastian in his group of friends.

"What about Sebastian?" I dared to ask.

He sighed.

"That's a difficult on but I am willing to try. I sort eavesdropped on you the other day when he explained

on what happened between him and mom. I don't like what he did but I'm glad he didn't have any bad

intention. I know our relationship will never be the same again. But I will try if he'll try too."

"He's been trying." I pointed out.

"I know." He mumbled. "He even bought me gummy bears. Twice."

"Yeah and he let you punch him so many times and didn't do anything to retaliate. I'm jealous you got

to punch him." I admitted.

"I enjoyed that so much. Kicking his ass I mean. In any day he would've destroyed me. Guess I'm the

lucky one. I got to punch him when you haven't." He said gloating.

"Oh shut up." I got up and cleared the table.

That's what we agreed on. Whenever he made breakfast or cooked in general. I cleaned up and did the

dishes.

"Is it bad that I want him to buy me more gummy bears." He asked and I laughed.

"Yes. I can't believe you want him to continue to feed your addiction." I laughed some more.

"It's not like I can't afford to buy them myself and I'm not addicted." He said helping me dry the dishes.

"Of course you are." I argued.

"There's a difference between an addiction and enjoying. And I enjoy eating gummy bears."

"It's sad how much you try to justify your addiction." I told him.

"I'm not addicted." He groaned.

We did the dishes in total silence until Connor spoke again.

"Our friendship has changed. Looking back a year ago or even four months ago, it's not the same." I

frowned a bit.

"How's so?" I asked even though I had an understanding of what he meant.

"Before I felt more like a tag along or lackey or lap dog... and before you say that not true. I know it

was. But not anymore. I don't feel like that anymore. Now I can actually say were friends." He

concluded and I only nodded.

"How did you know you were in love?" I knew the question was random but it has been bugging me for

quite some time.

"What?" Eve said dumbfounded. I could tell the question caught her off guard.

"How did you know you were in love?" I asked again.

Eve looked at me confused.

"You're in love." She declared.

"What? No I'm not in love." I told her.

"So why ask me such question?" She question, her forehead creased.

"It's one of those random questions I have. I want to know." I told her.

Yes I want to know but it's not random.

"Okay." She said and I arched a brow at her.

"You know you're in love when the other person's happiness is your happiness. When their pain is your

pain. When their happiness is above your own." She told me.

"That's it. That's the whole mystery of love. There's gotta be more than that." I said to her. There has to

be.

"Not that's not it. There's so much more to love than that. It's like whenever you see that person, she

takes your breath away while breathing you to life. It's as if you're starting to live for the first time. It's as

if your whole life was just a blur, you've been living yet not alive. At that moment your life has meaning.

All of a sudden, it's not gravity holding you to the ground. It's their existence keeping you from breaking.

The thought of seeing that person again gives you purpose. You would do anything for that person. Be

anything for them. But it's so easy mistaking love with obsession."

I felt myself taking in a sharp breath.

"Obsession?" I asked timidly.

"Yeah. You get so selfish about that person. You want them all to yourself regardless of the

consequences or even their feelings. To you, your wants are all that matters. You're blinded to think

your obsession is love." She finished and I buried myself deep in thought.

I am obsessed. I'm incapable of falling in love. But was Eve ever in love? She seemed to know more

about love and obsession. Was she ever in love or was it all obsession.

"Were you in love?" I asked her.

"I still am." She whispered. I felt her voice croak but it might have been my mind telling me that.

It was around ten in the morning and my intention of coming here was very simple.

I wanted to maybe persuade her to go to the cemetery to visit dad together.

I knew it was a long short but I was wishing she would because of everything going on.

She hasn't celebrated her birthday in five years and I was hoping since she want to celebrate it this

year thing would change.

She hasn't visited dad in four years. Ever since Aunt Lauren died.

I didn't know when to expect when I asked her.

"I'm not going Sage. You want to talk to dead people. Then good luck, do it on your own don't drag me

into your madness." She lashed out.

It's my fault. I pushed her to much. I kept on insisting even though I knew she wouldn't like it.

"How is it madness Eve?" I asked throwing my hands up.

"He's dead Sage. As in dead never coming back. He can't hear you. He never will. Now tell me how will

going to the grave help me?" She screamed bitterly.

I saw Wren lurking around not sure as if she should intervene or not.

"It will help you get closure. It will give you peace." I told her.

"Do I look like I'm not at peace? Do I look like I need closure? No, I'm at peace. I'm not the one who

decided to die. I'm still very much alive." She yelled.

I sighed standing up.

"I guess I thought this year would be different. I was wrong. You're still angry. It's not like he chose to

die Eve." I told her walking towards the door.

"But he still did. He left me after he promised he wouldn't leave me." I heard her whisper.

I felt my heart break for my sister. After all this time she can't make peace with dad's death.

No matter what I do, she's still suffering. I can't end her suffering. I can't stop her pain. I would take her

pain if I could.6

"Goodbye Wren." I waved at her. She face me a sympathizing smile.

I smiled back at her.

"Tell the twin hey for me." I told her.

"I will." She said and I closed the door and went to my car and drove to the cemetery.

Mrs Bell could sense I didn't want to talk. She took my order and she was fast in bring the flowers.

I thanked and paid her then left.

I walked down the path to my dad's resting place. I was grieving and for the first time in years I wasn't

grieving my father's death.

I was grieving my Sister pain. The pain still haunts her to this day.

I tried each year to get her to come with me but each time she refused. Each time it brought pain to my

heart how she still hasn't accepted dad's death.

The last time she walked down these path was exactly four years ago. It wasn't just the two of us but

Aunt Lauren was with us.

Seven days before she took her own life. Eve was never the said since then. Her and Aunt Lauren

were so close. She took it hard when she killed herself.

I reached dad's grave and placed new flowers on his grave taking out the twigs of the one's I left in not

so long ago.

"Happy birthday dad." I said and sat down.

I knew he wouldn't answer me or even thanked me but it was fine. I knew he wouldn't. He will never

answer me.

"Again, I tried getting Eve to come with me and you know she didn't want to." I said into the air.

Like always when I come here. I layed on my back and closed my eyes, closing my arms on the back

of my head.

"I'm worried about her dad. Lately she's so destructive it's alarming. I don't know how to help her dad. I

thought this year would be different. I thought because she has Wren she'll try but it's like it didn't make

her better. It made her worst. I'm so desperate dad. What should I do? How do I help her? She's the

reason I'm still holding on. If I loose her I'll loose myself. If she loose herself I'll still loose myself. She

has my whole life wrapped around her figure." I said desperately.

I'm desperate.

"You know, we talked earlier. She explained to me what is love. What it is to be in love. For me love is

different because I don't think I'll ever love another woman that isn't her. She is my whole life. My Contentt bel0ngs to N0ve/lDrâ/ma.O(r)g!

universe. Love is her. My home is her. She's my sister. She means so much to me." I told him.

Eve is my everything. Her life is my purpose. I begin and and with her life.

I don't know if anyone can ever understand that. I don't think anyone will ever understand that.

"I know this girl dad. She takes my breath away. She makes me so irrational and everytime she's near

my heart starts racing but I'm not in love with her. You wanna know how I know I'm not in love with

her?.... even though her happiness is my happiness I don't think I'll ever put her happiness above mine.

Or Eve's. She's not my everything. Eve is. I will never fall in her feet. Even though I want her to be

happy, I don't want her to be happy if she's not with me yet I can't give her what she wants. I want her

in my own conditions. I want her to stay with me even without the promise of commitment. The whole

idea is crazy. That's how I know I'm not in love with her. I'm obsessed with her."

I let the explanation ligure in the air as I thought of many things.

I stayed for another hour and when I left it what mid day. I didn't know what I'll do for the rest of the day

except go to the warehouse.

I got in my car and my phone immediately rang.

My heart leaped thinking it was Eve but it sank when I saw the caller Id.

I was hoping Eve would change her mind.

"Hello." I said trying hard to hide my disappointment.

It's not like I was t happy to receive his call. Trust me I was.

"Sage. How are you doing? I know it must be hard for you nephew." Andrew said.

"I'm hanging in there. How are you?" I asked him.

"I'm good but mom is taking it bad. She's been crying so much. I won't say it was better before when

we thought Mike and Lauren were out there not wanting to return home but knowing both of them are

dead is too much on mom." He explained.

I felt for grandma. I don't have children. I can't imagine how she feels. Especially if you recently found

out that your children died years ago.

I believe kids are part of you. You gave birth to them, feed them, cared for them when their sick.

Even though Eve never got that chance to do all that but I saw how much she suffered even if she tried

hiding it.

Imagine if you've cared for them for over two decades and they die. But it's different for other parent.

Take a look at my mom or Sebastian's. That didn't deserve to be parents.

"I didn't call you to worsen your mood. I'm sorry." He apologised when I didn't sat anything.

"Umm.... it's okay. I've been aloof all morning." I told him.

"I wanted to talk you that, we will be in America in four days for Mike Lauren's Death anniversary. Mom

would like to visit their graves." He informed me.

"Of course. I'll be happy to do that." I said to him.

"And Wren was kind enough to invite us to Eve's birthday party that's in seven days." He added.

"That's great. I really like that." I told him truthfully.

I was hoping Eve would change her mind. I was hoping Grandma being here would make her see the

light. After all she loves Grandma.

-----

This Chapter was so emotional. I really enjoyed writting it.

I feel like I've improved so much from posting that first chapter on Unscripted that was 600 words to

writing chapter 30 on my second book.

Thank you all for supporting my work. It means so much to me that you all gave my work a chance.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I love everyone of you. Thank you so much guys.

Maybe its because I've just written an emotional chapter or what but I'm really grateful to everyone who

gave my work a chance.

I've been on wattpad for over a year and it's been 10 months since I posted my first chapter and I can't

believe how much support my work has got. Thank you all

I love you

Prec