One Nigh 275
Chapter 275
Audrey
Tina quickly wiped her face, trying to hide her tears, but it was too late. I had already seen everything.
“I’m not crying,” she whispered, but her voice cracked halfway through and betrayed everything. “Okay, maybe… Yes. I am. A little. Just… just don’t look at me right now, okay?”
But I didn’t turn away. How could I turn away from my friend when she was crying? I sat down beside her, wrapping one arm around her trembling shoulders. “Tina, what’s going on? Is everything alright? Too much champagne?”
She hesitated, swallowing hard. “I–I thought I could handle it,” she choked out. “Being… just being me, you know? But I can’t even do that right.”
I tilted my head, watching her as she looked away, staring out into the darkness beyond the courtyard. “What happened?” She laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. Only something tight and sad. “Avis’s friend, Sarah–she, um, she was really nice. So, so nice. But she… she made it clear that she wanted more than I could give her.”
I didn’t say anything yet, just quietly waited for her to keep going.
“She was looking for… for something physical. She even wanted to take me home tonight. And when I told her that wasn’t something I was comfortable with, she was nice about it. Genuinely nice. But… but she’s not interested in seeing me anymore, and it just… it just hurts,” Tina said, her voice breaking on the last word.
“You’re talking about… sex?” I asked.
She nodded and took a shaky breath. “Yeah.”
“Well that doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you,” I said gently. “If anything, you should be proud of yourself for setting that boundary.”
She shrugged. “But Audrey, I think… I think maybe there is something wrong with me. I think I might be asexual. And I know it shouldn’t feel like a bad thing, but sometimes… I don’t know. I feel like something is missing, or like I’m… I don’t know, broken somehow.”
My heart twisted, and I held her a little tighter. “Tina, there’s absolutely nothing broken about you. A lot of people feel that way-”
“I know, I know, and I try to tell myself that,” she interrupted. “But when you’ve got someone looking at you and expecting something you just… you just don’t want… it’s hard not to feel like a total fraud.”
She sighed, resting her head against my shoulder. “It’s like… I do want the romance, the connection, I want all of that. I want to be with someone who understands me, but when it comes to sex, I don’t know. Sex just feels wrong to me, and the thought of doing it… kind of grosses me out. It’s part of the reason why I’m still a virgin.”
“Have you always felt this way?”
She nodded, sniffling. “Yeah, I have. I think I’ve been pretty good at hiding it, but I really just don’t feel that… drive that everyone else seems to. And it’s hard because, like, I know I’m gay. I know I want to be with women.”
Tina looked away, shaking her head. “But at the same time, I feel like a fraud. I mean, how can I call myself a lesbian when… when I don’t even want to sleep with a woman?”
My heart ached for my friend, seeing the pain drawn across her face. She wasn’t looking at me now, but staring at the ground, almost like she couldn’t even bear to meet my gaze.
D
I took a breath, choosing my words carefully. “Tina… being a lesbian isn’t about having sex. It’s about who you love, who you want to share your life with. And that doesn’t have to include anything you’re not comfortable with. It’s not about… doing anything to ‘prove‘ who you’re attracted to.”
She looked at me then, and her eyes were filled with a kind of desperation that made my heart break all over again. “But what if that means I’m alone forever?” Her voice wobbled. “What if I never find someone who’ll be okay with that? What if there’s no one out there who’ll want me…
all of me… just the way I am?”
I shook my head, squeezing her hand. “You will, Tina. I know you will. There are plenty of people out there who are in your exact situation. You’re not alone.”
She leaned her head against my shoulder again, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “I just feel so… lost. Like I don’t belong in any space. I don’t even belong in my own home with my own parents. It’s like, no matter where I turn, I don’t quite… fit.”
I held her hand, running my thumb over her knuckles ass
quietly cried on my shoulder. “You fit in with us,” I said softly.
Tina was quiet, although I could feel her huff out a little laugh against me.
“Thank you,” she finally whispered after a few moments of silence. “Thank you for saying that. I’m glad have you all… You bunch of weirdos.”
“Anytime,” I said with a laugh of my own. “And hey.” I placed my hand under her chin and lifted it, forcing her to look at me. “You will find someone someday, if that’s what you want. Someone who truly understands and accepts you.”
A faint smile touched her lips, and she sighed. “I hope so. But until then… I think I need to figure out who I am. Really”
I nodded, letting go of her chin. “I think that’s a good idea.” I paused, smiling a little. “And in the meantime, you can help others find themselves, too.
She
a
gave soft laugh and looked away. “We’ll see about that.”
I nudged her gently. “C’mon, Tina. Where’s my favorite confident girl? Where’s the girl who once jumped up on the table at
on a dare?” the bar and belted the entire chorus to Bohemian Rhapsody, word for word, just
A small, genuine smile finally broke through her sad expression at that, and I felt a surge of relief rush through me. “Alright, alright,” she said, wiping her tears. “You’re right. As always. You and your gorgeous fucking silver hair are right again.”
A smirk touched my lips again, and I flipped a lock of said silver hair over my shoulder. “Well, I’m glad you finally recognize my talents. Now, how about we go back inside and join the others?”
She hesitated, glancing back at the warmly lit reception hall where the others were still laughing and dancing, and would be all night. A lot of the guests had gone home, but our party was only just beginning; and it was clear, judging from the way Gavin was currently dancing with Peter, ties loosened and hair mussed. Drunk. And hilariously so.
But I could see Tina hesitate. “I dunno if-” Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g
“Nope. We’re dancing.” I rose, dragging her to her feet by both hands. “You and I are gonna slow dance together.”
Her eyes widened a little, her cheeks flushing. “With everyone watching?”
“When has that ever stopped us before?” I grinned, giving her hand a little tug toward the door. “Besides, you know Avis will join us the second she sees us dancing.”
That earned me a small laugh
“Alright, alright. Let’s go…”
Hand–in–hand, we walked back into the reception hall, where the music was still going strong. I pulled Tina onto the dance floor, holding her by the waist as we swayed to the music, laughing like giddy little kids.
Sat
And, just as I predicted, Avis spotted us almost immediately. She didn’t hesitate for even a second–she rushed over in a flurry of white skirts and threw her arms around Tina, pulling her into the dance with a wild grin.
Soon enough, Betty, Peter, Gavin, and even Edwin joined in, circling us chaotically. Tina was caught between laughing and crying as everyone shoved her around the circle, but I could see the light in her eyes.
Edwin and I exchanged amused glances as the spectacle went on and he cast me the subtlest of winks.
Mission accomplished.
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