So hard
DABBY:
I rushed out of my room barefooted and ran across the hallway we shared to Damien’s room, only to realize that the door had been locked and he was out of the house already. As much as I was trying to remain organized, my heart was failing me and I could feel tears burn my eyes.
My feet ran as fast as they could down the stairs to the kitchen to confirm if he was really gone, and there was no sign of Damien either in or out of the house. I was trying to call his number too, and it was unreachable.
“Oh, dear. I hope this is a prank. I really do,” my breath shuddered as I said the words, and ran back into my room trying to relax my nerves. I wanted to believe that I had seen wrong or it was probably a mistake.
‘Maybe for an ex-girlfriend,’ I comforted myself as I sat in front of the mirror, trying to wear the latest brand of lipstick I just got for myself.
As I ran it slowly over my lips, my breath could not keep calm and my hands were shaking too. I ended up smudging it over my lips, and it was like a trigger to the emotions I was feeling. I lowered my head in frustration and cried over my dresser so loudly because I was really scared.
‘What if it had been a game?’
“No. No, Dabby. Damien cannot do that to you,” I said aloud in a shaky voice again, and stood up from where I was seated.
I wiped my face, adjusted my hair, put on little makeup, and checked my dress once more before I walked out. The driver who was meant to pick us up was already waiting, and I told him that Damien was probably in school already so we had to leave very fast. I had to see him as fast as possible.
Immediately I alighted from the car, I ran like someone in hot pursuit until the building and straight to Damien’s class. There were quite some students in his class, but there was no sight of Damien anywhere. I was trying hard to remain calm, as I called his phone again but it was still the same thing.
“Dabby,” I heard Mason call my name from the other side of the building, and I scurried over to his side without trying to hide my fear as usual.
“Hi, Mason. How was the weekend……..”
“I don’t think my weekend is important right now. What is wrong with you, Dabby? You don’t look settled,” Mason observed as he watched my face carefully in concern, while I just tried to keep my tears from falling.
“Have you seen Damien today?” I asked him immediately, and he shook his head.
“What is wrong with him? I thought you guys live in the same house,” Mason lowered his voice as we spoke.
“Yes, but when I woke up this morning, he was gone. And he isn’t in school either. He is not picking up his calls too,” I complained in agitation, and he was probably weirded by the fact that I was being dramatic.
“Nothing is probably wrong with him. You know how Damien is. He’ll be fine. He is probably with one of his friends.”
‘Just how do I tell my friend that I was being that way because of the sudden message that Damien sent to me? Just a few hours away from being cool with one another. That I could go crazy if no one would tell me about his whereabouts.’
“Let us go to class, and you can revise your books before the exam starts in a few minutes,” Mason suggested and dragged me by the arm to come along with him, but I wasn’t convinced yet. I had to see Damien before the exam, otherwise, how do I focus?
The minutes passed by without me seeing Damien till our exams began, and it was the same thing when it was time for lunch. He wasn’t anywhere in his class, and he wasn’t in the cafe or at the school parking lot. I was so restless throughout the day, and I didn’t know how I managed to finish my exam before I came out of the class.
It was the same thing when I returned home but Damien wasn’t there, and I wondered what Mum was even doing home early by that time. She was making lunch in the kitchen and when I asked her what was going on, she said that she was preparing the food because her husband was coming home soon. I was so surprised.
‘When did she and Damien’s father make up and become lovers once again?’
I didn’t even mind whatever it was all about and just made my way up the stairs, and went straight to Damien’s room to see if he was there. The door was still the same as I left it, and it made me go crazy with intense disappointment.
‘What exactly was going on? What? What? Where was he?’
By the time I was waiting till evening, there was no sign of him and they were having lunch downstairs. No one was asking about him when it was a fact that we were both grounded. I was so moody and sad till night, and didn’t have dinner before I fell asleep. I woke up in a mess.Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.
It was the same. Damien’s phone number was unreachable, his door was locked, I was going to school alone, and no one was saying anything. Mum made toast for everyone while I was up in the room, and she was the last person that I would ask about him.
I just dressed casually and left home even before the driver meant to pick us up came, and sat at the school field that I rarely sat at, to see everyone that would pass through.
And the moment I saw the tall figure come down from a cab, I rushed from where I was sitting to meet him without minding who could be watching us. It took me extra effort not to wrap my hands around and hug him, even if I was still conflicted about everything that was going on between us.
“Damien. What is going on?” I asked in fear while trying hard not to cry, because it was hard for me to understand why he was being like that.
“Can we talk later?” His cold response came instantly as he stalked past me without waiting, and my hands were too weak to drag him back before I started crying. I was too hurt to even say anything.
‘Why was he being so mean to me?’
I didn’t see Damien throughout the day at school because of exams, and it was the same as the previous day, like he had become invisible. I knew that he wasn’t going to be home, and didn’t bother going whether we were grounded or not.
I went with Mason to the cafe to see if I could speak to his Mum, but she was not there which made it even more teary. Mason was trying to calm me down, but I was not having it at all. He also helped me call Damien’s phone and he picked up, but hung up the moment he heard Mason’s voice.
Something was wrong. Damien was avoiding me so badly, and he was not giving a reason why he was doing that after a weird message. Regardless of what his dear cousin was saying to make me calm down, I just returned home sad and dejected.
‘How did seeing one person become so difficult?’
_-__-__-_
“What is wrong with you Dabby? I thought you were going to be asking me about your prom dress now, or talking about the end of exams. You have been so down,” Mum asked me when she sat on my bed, probably because she realized that I didn’t come down for lunch or dinner again.
“Where is Damien, mother? Why are you acting like you don’t know something is wrong in this house? Damien hasn’t been home the normal way for two days, Mum. He is avoiding me!” I couldn’t hold my last sentence and burst into tears again, because it was so hard for me to believe something like that would happen between us.
I had been planning our future together if I knew that I shouldn’t. I had seen us doing so many things together before we would ever separate because of school, which was something I had been trying not to think about at all.
‘Didn’t he love me anymore the way he claimed he did?’ I wondered endlessly.
“If this is about Damien, darling. Forget about him. You and I know that you both cannot be together. You will meet other people and fall in love, Dabby. You shouldn’t spend your last days like this. It is distracting you,” Mum tried to talk to me, but I was not ready to even hear her say that. I had to resolve my issues first, and it all had to do with Damien.
“What have you done to him? What have you guys said to him?!” I yelled out in much pain, because I couldn’t understand why Mum was saying that to me like she knew why Damien was being that way.
“It doesn’t matter, darling. I want the best for you, and loving your step brother isn’t the best. I don’t know what is wrong with him either, but it is probably for the best……..”
“I know your marriage with Damien’s dad is for both your sakes not ours! It is a contract marriage. I know it all. I heard you both arguing about it, so I would appreciate it if you don’t mention me and Damien’s relations with one another!” I was forced to say it out loud finally.
“Da…. What…” Mum stuttered.
“You don’t have to deny it or pretend, Mum. I know it all, and I am so terrified that you two can do something like that. But that is a matter for another day,” I paused like I was choking on my words and took a few seconds to breathe, “I cannot let go of Damien, Mum. It is so deep-rooted in my head than you think. I…. I just can’t,” I started to cry again, because it was really hard for me to explain how hurt I was. How I wouldn’t even get angry and just embrace Damien if he came back to me. I was missing him so badly.
“I am divorcing Damien’s dad, Dabby,” Mum dropped the bombshell.