Girl Abroad

CELESTE IS THE FIRST TO JUMP ON ME FOLLOWING MY LUNCH WITH Ben. She texts as I’m leaving the library later to ask how the meeting went. I make the mistake of mentioning the invitation to the ball, and by the time I get home that evening, her gentle requests to be my plus-one have graduated to outright violent threats.

Celeste: No pressure, but if you don’t bring me, I will find you in a dark alley.

Me: Have you considered bribery?

“Abbey, that you, luv?” Lee calls from the kitchen as I kick off my shoes at the front door.

“Yes, dear.”

“Get in here. Now.”

The urgency in his voice is enough to make me sprint down the hall.

“What’s wrong?” I find Lee sitting at the counter with his laptop open and his sister on the screen.

“You have a decision to make,” he says, spinning on his stool to face me while clutching a cup of tea.

“Abbey, tell him he’s too late,” Celeste says on-screen. “You’ve already invited me to the ball.”

“Bollocks. I’m obviously her favorite.”

“Piss off,” she snaps back. “You’d spend the whole night in the coat closet with the valet. You can do that anywhere.”

“Jealous.”

I try slipping away. The two of them seem content to argue among themselves. But Lee grabs the strap of my bag before I can make an escape. He has a deceptively long reach, that one.

“You’re not getting away that easy, Abbey Bly.”

“How about you two decide and let me know?” I suggest.

The stairs above our heads rattle seconds before Jack stalks into the kitchen. He’s shirtless and has his earbuds in. And he doesn’t so much as blink in my direction as he goes to the fridge and gulps down a protein shake before grabbing a bottle of water. I might as well be furniture when he turns and leaves out the front door, without the slightest acknowledgement of my existence.

I don’t even get a chance to fumble over my words or smile awkwardly at the unresolved question of the kiss. He beats me to it with outright indifference.

Fuck, that’s irritating. How do you walk right past someone you live with and pretend there isn’t this enormous question mark hanging in the air?

Dick.

Earlier, I’d briefly entertained the idea of inviting Jack or Nate to the ball. But seeing as how we don’t seem to be on speaking terms anymore, I guess Jack is out. And to be honest, it’s probably not Nate’s scene. I’m sure he’d rather throw himself off a bridge than be caught dead in a tux, schmoozing up royals and pretentious nobility. And I’m not sure Yvonne would appreciate it.

Besides, I wouldn’t put it past Lee or his sister to have either of them tied up and chained to a radiator in the basement to eliminate the competition.

“Come on, Abbey,” Celeste grumbles, her impatience plain her voice. “If you bring my brother, he’ll ditch you the second you get there. You don’t want to be left alone all night, do you, luv?”

Lee mutes his sister. “Babe, it’s cute and all you two’ve become friends but plainly ridiculous not to invite your flatmate.”

Celeste begins gesticulating wildly, silent. It doesn’t take long for her to catch on and text me.

Celeste: Unmute me right now!

After I show Lee the message, he turns to the laptop camera and shoves his middle finger in the air. Their house must have been fun growing up.

“I promise not to abandon you,” he says. “You’ve got to be my wingwoman. I’m trying to get wifed up to an earl or a baron. You wouldn’t take that away from me, right?”

This sucks. A part of me would rather let them go together instead of me to avoid disappointing either one of them. Except I really want to go. And I can’t very well stand up Lord Tulley.

I need to think about it.

“I’m going to take a bath,” I tell them, then hurry upstairs before Lee can drag me back by my hair.

A few minutes later, I drop myself into a hot tub with the lights off, music on, and a book I’m reading for my English lit class on my phone.

It occurs to me after my toes begin to prune and the bubbles have almost dissipated that I should have given more credence to Lee’s warning about the house rule. If I’d been more faithful to the one and only tenet of the flat, I wouldn’t be staring down the possibility that Jack and I have irrevocably changed the dynamic not only of our relationship but all of us. Things were good here before. I don’t want it to be awkward now.

When the water’s gone lukewarm, I towel off and return to my room to put on pajamas. I’d considered going back to the library after dinner, but now I’m not in the mood. All my energy has been sapped by the descending fallout dropping in slow motion. I haven’t been here even one whole semester, and I’ve already fucked it.

In bed, I continue my reading until there’s a knock at my door.

“I haven’t made up my mind yet,” I call.

Jack opens the door to peer inside. “Hey.”

“Oh.” I sit up against my headboard. “Thought you were Lee.”

“Can I come in for a minute?”

Well, damn. I’d just gotten all comfortable and sullen about not having this talk, and now I’m not sure if I’m prepared. Still, the waiting will be more excruciating.

“Sure.”

He walks in, his tall frame encased in plaid pants and a faded black hoodie, blond hair damp as if he’d just had a shower. Droplets of water gather at his temples, one trickling down and falling onto his cheek. He wipes it away and closes the door behind him, then plasters himself against it as if trying to stand as far from me as possible.

I consider proposing he stand in the hallway making hand gestures, but his preoccupied expression says he wouldn’t see the humor in it.

“What’s up?” I prompt.Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.

I slide out of bed and get up, because it feels weird lying under the covers while he remains upright. Like I’m a queen receiving her audience or something.

“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” Jack starts, his voice gruff.

“Oh. Okay.” Most of my irritation with him evaporates with that simple admission.

“For kissing you. That was stupid. I was drunk, but I can’t blame it entirely on that. I don’t know what went through my head before I did it.” He pauses, then curses under his breath. “That’s a lie. I know what I was thinking.”

Just like that, my throat becomes arid. “What were you thinking?”

“You know what.”

The air shifts, thickens with tension.

My teeth dig into my lip as I lift my gaze to his. “Do I?”

“There’s something here.” He gestures between us. “Been there for a while, no?”

Since the day I moved in, I almost say.

Instead, I remain silent. It’s rare to get Jack talking. About anything substantive anyway. I’m afraid that if I speak, he’ll stop, and I desperately want to hear what he has to say.

“I think you’re bloody amazing.” His gaze never leaves mine. “Smart. Gorgeous. You make me laugh.” He licks his bottom lip. “Turn me on.”

I can scarcely breathe now. “I turn you on?”

“Yes. Christ. There’s nothing I want more right now than to throw you on that bed and smash your back out.”

I blink. “I’m sorry, what? You want to—ohhhh.” As usual, my cheeks burst into flames. “I take it that’s more of that Aussie slang?”

His lips twitch with a slight grin. “I keep forgetting you don’t get half the shit I’m saying. I’ll say it clearer.” His eyes become molten. “I want to fuck you.”

My core clenches.

Do it, I want to beg.

“I want to be on my knees with my face between your legs.”

Oh.

My.

God.

“I want to feel you squeezing my cock while I come inside you.”

Yup. I’m dead. He’s killed me and my vagina.

“All those things sound…nice,” I manage to croak out, my voice shaky and lust drenched.

Jack’s face clouds with regret. “But I can’t. We can’t.”

The disappointment is so visceral and all-consuming I feel my entire body deflate.

“You’re my flatmate. But more than that, I like to think we’ve become friends, ay?”

“Ay. I mean, yeah. Yes.”

This is incredible. I had no idea it was possible to go from ferally turned on to horrifically mortified this fast. I drop my gaze to my socked feet, afraid he’ll see my hurt and frustration.

“Abbs. No. Don’t do that.” He steps closer, touching my chin to tip it upward. “Look at me. I’m trying to do the right thing. We’ve a good arrangement here. Can’t have this exploding in our faces, yeah? Lee and Jamie adore you. They’d kill me if I fucked this up for everyone.”

“Who says you would?”

“I don’t do relationships,” he admits. “And you”—he blows out a breath— “you don’t do one-night stands.”

“Says who?” I counter, because I hate it when people tell me who I am.

He slants his head in challenge. “Do you?”

Goddamn it.

“No,” I mutter. “I don’t.” I straighten my shoulders and muster a dismissive look that takes some effort. “Okay. I guess that’s settled.”

Jack shifts uneasily. “We can pretend it never happened then?”

“I’ve already forgotten about it.”

“All right.” He hesitates. “Good night.”

Without another word, he leaves and closes the door behind him.

Yeah, I don’t think I’m taking Jack to any royal shindig.

As if smelling blood in the water, Lee invites himself into my room and sprawls across the foot of my bed like he’s posing for a boudoir photo session.

“What did Jackie want?” he demands suspiciously.

“Nothing, really. We were talking about midterms,” I lie. “He might need some study help.”

“Well, that’s boring.” Lee props up on his elbow and plants his head in his palm. “You didn’t say earlier—how was lunch with Lord Tulley? Give me details. Don’t spare anything.”

“Can we do this tomorrow?” I ask with a yawn. I’m mentally exhausted.

He furrows his brow, sitting up. “You all right?”

“I’ve got a headache coming on.”

“Say no more.” Lee jumps up. “I’ll bring you a cuppa and leave you be.”

He’s almost out the door when I call his name. He turns at the threshold.

I swallow a smile. “Better get your tux pressed.”

He makes an ear-piercing noise like a chew toy exploding and dashes off.

I’m not stoked about breaking the news to Celeste, but I’m fairly sure she was only joking about leaving me for dead in an alley. Truth is, Lee’s been a good friend since the night I arrived jet-lagged and confused at his doorstep. Seems only right I return the favor.