Chapter 156: conflicted Between Chasing After Her Letting Go
Gabriel's POV
As Clairessa walked out, I stood frozen—caught between chasing after her or
letting her go.
And I let her go.
Even though it felt like someone had reached into my chest and torn my heart out
without mercy.
The last look on her face—God, I'd never forget it. That raw, agonizing pain in her
eyes as tears streamed down her cheeks.
I did that.
All because I let my emotions override every ounce of reason I had.
Because of a fucking photo. One I didn't even trust. I reacted without thinking.
Without proof. Without giving her the benefit of the doubt.
I let it poison everything. Let suspicion consume me. Let anger drive me—and
now? God, now I might've destroyed the one good thing I had.
I may have just destroyed the only real chance at love I've ever had. At
happiness. At peace.
"Fuck..." I muttered, dragging both hands through my hair, fingers tangling in the
strands like I could burn the frustration out through my scalp.
But nothing made sense anymore.
Flashes from the night before hit me like a brutal tide. Standing Clairessa up on
the rooftop. Ignoring her messages. Driving to The Cave, letting the music drown
out my thoughts.
The burn of alcohol. The lights. The strippers. Tina.
Meeting her. Drinking. Letting her get close.
Bringing her here.
I remembered the strip tease. Her grinding on me. Her hands roaming as she
undressed me—lips on my skin, fingers tugging off my shirt... then reaching
lower, fumbling with my pants... my briefs.
And after that—nothing. Just a blank space.
I turned around slowly, dreading what I might've done.
Tina stood by the door, arms loosely crossed over her chest, biting her lip like she
didn't know what to say.
Like she was sorry.
Like she knew exactly what was running through my head.
"What the hell happened last night?" I asked, my voice hoarse. "Tell me we
didn't..."
I couldn't even say it. The words refused to come out. My stomach twisted at the
thought. I needed to hear her say it. I needed to know I didn't completely betray
Clairessa—physically.
"No, Gabriel," she interrupted, raising a hand. "You were drunk. Completely out of
it."
I stared at her, the words barely registering.
"What?"
"I mean... I tried," she admitted, looking away. "I used every trick I knew—ones
that used to work on you back in the day. But nothing did."
"We didn't," Tina said firmly. "You passed out right after I undressed you. I was
already half-naked from dancing—I just lay down beside you. That's it. Nothing
happened."
I exhaled hard, a shaky breath of relief leaving my lungs, the tight knot in my
chest loosening just a little.
Tina noticed my reaction and offered a faint, sympathetic smile.
"Contrary to what you might think,
Gabe..." she stepped closer, her
voice gentler now, "I have
boundaries. I draw the line at taking
advantage of a drunk man who kept
mumbling another woman's name."
I stared at her, shocked to my bones.
"I did that?" I whispered, floored by the idea that even through the haze of alcohol,
Clairessa had stayed with me.
She nodded. "Over and over. You kept saying her name—Clairessa. It was
honestly kind of heartbreaking to watch."
Tina paused, then added softly, "And
after seeing her so broken—thinking
you cheated—the pain on her face
the way she stormed out... and
watching you fall apart too... I get
why you couldn't go through with it
last night. You should probably just
tell her the truth—that nothing
happened between us."
I opened my mouth to respond, but my voice cracked. I looked down at my hands,
the shame too heavy to carry.
"I doubt she'll believe me," I said quietly. "I think I've burned it all to the ground."
Even though I hadn't slept with Tina.
It didn't matter.
It didn't erase the damage. Didn't undo what Clairessa saw when she walked in.
The look on her face. The betrayal she must've felt.
And the worst part?
She didn't even wait for me to explain. She just looked at me like I was a stranger.
Like I'd turned into someone she could never trust again.
Tina laid a tentative hand on my shoulder. I didn't pull away.
"For what it's worth," she said softly, "I believe she still loves you. And I think
there's still a chance for you to make this right."
"I don't know, Tina," I muttered. "There's a lot going on, and honestly, I don't want
to keep talking about this right now."
"That's fair," she noted gently, reaching for my hand. "But I want you to know
something—you don't have to go through this alone. Our relationship doesn't
have to be about sex."
She paused, locking eyes with me as she searched my face. "We can talk," she
continued, her voice low. "About what you're really feeling. It might help... instead
of keeping it all bottled up."
I pulled away slightly. The only person I'd allowed to see through me in years was
Clairessa—and no one else.
Then I looked at Tina—really looked at her. The seductress was gone. Standing in
her place was a woman offering me kindness. A friend.
And maybe, in this moment, that
was exactly what I needed: a friend
to share some of my thoughts with...
my confusion. Someone who could
help shed light on the clarity I
desperately needed, because my
emotions were clouding my
judgment.
I nodded faintly. "You're right," I murmured. "Bottling it up hasn't done me any
good. And getting drunk was the worst decision I could've made."
"No kidding," she muttered with a small smirk.
"Talking might help," I admitted. "Because clearly, I can't trust myself when I'm
spiraling."
"Then come," she said, tugging gently at my hand. "Sit with me properly. Just
talk."
And for the first time in a long while, I let myself.
We sat in silence for a moment before Tina tilted her head and locked eyes withnoveldrama
me. I knew the question was coming.
"So... Do you love her?"
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