Chapter 28
28 Miracle Memories (Jayden)
I made it to the elevator before I had to grab my head from the searing pain now tearing through my mind. Emotions are eating me up from the inside and all I can feel is despair and heartbreak. Miracle baby, miracle baby the words scream around my mind.
"Winona! Let me see her. What's wrong. I swear I'll rip this fucking place apart if someone doesn't let me see her." I'm being held back by two bulky security menExclusive content © by Nô(v)el/Dr/ama.Org.
Doctor Green is talking to me calmly. "Mr. Brennan. You cannot come to see her unless you calm down."
I suck in a breath, steel myself to stay calm and shake off the hands gripping my arms. "Alright, alright. Sorry. I just... is Winona going to be okay?"
"Mr. Brennan....Jayden...she will be okay in time. Right now, her emotional state is on the edge of breakdown. You need to be strong for her. You need to be calm. You cannot lose it in there like this." I take another deep breath. "Okay, Doc. I got this. Take me into her, she needs me."
Dr. Green walks me into the ward and into Winona's bedside. She's all huddled up on the bed, rocking back and forth. Her eyes are swollen and red and she still has blood going into her.
I stare a
at the doctor and he grips my upper arm for a second and nods his head.
Moving forward I sit on the bed next to her. "Winona, I'm here."
Her sobs start up. She's shaking.
"Honey? Do you want to talk about it?"
I can see the scene clearly in my mind and I have no doubt at all that this is a memory. For the first time, I'm certain. The sharp pain in my head continues. I step out of the elevator in parking and head to my sports car. Unlocking it, I sit in there and this feeling of sadness still has me engulfed. My mind begins to explore again.
"We made a baby, Jayden. But now it's gone," Winona whimpers.
I shift onto the bed and cradle her in my arms, pulling her close into my lap as the emotions tore through her again. "I'm so sorry."
I never wanted kids. Why would I? I was still busy being a kid, really. We both were. But this news caused something inside me I'd never felt before. We'd created a life together, and now that life is gone.
I slam my fists onto the steering wheel. Nothing can be this important. Being a father. A real father. Not one focused on building an empire. One that threw a ball with you in the park. I never had that kind of father. A loving, supportive, love you anyway, kind of father. Abby isn't my child. Even if she is biologically, I'm not emotionally equipped to be a real father to her. I don't even remember who I am. I need to let her live her life. Phillip is a good man. A good father. He'd be the kind of father I wished I'd got. 1
28 Miracle Memories
Instead, I got a strict-never there-sick of all your shit type of father. Even though my shit was barely seen and definitely not heard by him. But it seemed he hated me just for being an Inconvenience in his super successful billionaire empire. I had to be perfect. And I was, until high school.
I remember now I hated that man and tried to do everything I could to rebel against his ideas. To not be the type of man he was. I wanted to have fun, to do whatever I wanted.
But now I see I became him when I wanted that divorce. I see that as the CEO of the Brennan empire, I could be every bit as ruthless and cold as he was. A tyrant, like he was to my mother.
He died that same year. That year I almost became a father myself. The year I turned my back on my Brennan Industries, on my mother, and chose Winona.
She understood me. She loved me, she loved who I was, even if I was far from perfect. She made me a better person and I'd rather not live than live without her.
Tears sting my eyes, but I blink them back. That was a long time ago. Another lifetime. Winona had been diagnosed with advanced endometriosis. Getting pregnant would be almost impossible. They'd given her surgery to help ease the pain.
Told her after this, the chance of her falling pregnant again and not miscarrying would be the best chance.
If we ever had a baby, it would truly be a miracle. Maybe they'd have to operate and remove her uterus in the coming years.
We'd decided immediately to keep trying and to be married, despite what my mother said. I didn't care. We wanted our own little family to love. How naïve I was.
Then everything goes black again in my mind. Anything after that is still lost to me apart from when I regained consciousness after the accident, and I had to learn who I was again.
I thought I knew. I went with the things that came easily to me. The business sense. Being a CEO fitted me like a glove. I had no reason to doubt what my mother supported and told me about myself. But now, I wonder how much of me is still locked up inside my mind.
I switch on the engine. It's about time I found out. I head to the family mansion where my mother still lives, I know my father's home office has been left intact, and mother hasn't let anyone in there since he died, except herself,
I thought it was because of grief. But now my memory tells me she would never grieve that monster.
Maybe it's time to find out what she's been hiding in there.