Chapter 156
It had been weeks since we buried Brax in the garden, but nothing was getting better. It was strange to think that I missed him, not as a person, but as the version of him that was alive and cruel. At least then, I knew how to feel about him. Now, I didn’t know what to feel. He was gone, and everything felt emptier than before. One thing I did know for sure, though, was that I was head over heels in love with Aston. I knew I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. I had to let him know too.
I waited for the right moment, though it seemed like the right time never came. Every day I searched the house, hoping to find him, but Aston was always moving around. For someone who was in a wheelchair, he sure got around a lot. It was almost like he was avoiding me. Maybe he was avoiding everything.
I’d been through almost every room in the house when I finally found him. Brax’s room. I hesitated in the doorway, my hand reaching for the door handle, ready to call Aston’s name. But before I could speak, I heard something that stopped me cold.
He was sobbing.
Aston, the man who never let anyone see his emotions, was crying. His shoulders shook, and his face was buried in his hands. I rushed to his side without thinking, dropping to my knees next to his chair. Without saying a word, I pulled him into a hug, wrapping my arms around him as tightly as I could. He didn’t push me away. Instead, he leaned into me, his body trembling.
“I thought I was doing the right thing,” he choked out between sobs, his voice shaky. “I thought I needed to be strong so he could be strong too. I didn’t know what to do when our parents died. I didn’t know how to fill that void.”
His words came out in gasps, as if he had been holding them in for years and was only now letting them escape. I held him tighter, feeling my own eyes well up with tears.
“I didn’t know how to love him right,” Aston continued, his voice breaking. “I was mean because I thought it would make him tough. I didn’t want him to get picked on for being too soft. I became this… this person, because I thought it would protect him.”
He paused for a moment, taking a shuddering breath. “I should have just cried with him instead,” he whispered, his voice so quiet I almost didn’t hear him. “I should have just read him stories. I should have just loved him right.”
He broke down completely then, his sobs turning into uncontrollable cries. I could feel his pain in every word, in every tear. It was raw, real, and it hurt more than anything. I couldn’t stop the tears from falling either. I cried with him, for him, for Brax, for everything that had gone wrong between them.
“I love him more than anything in the world,” Aston added, his voice barely above a whisper. “I wanted to protect him, but I didn’t know how. I was just a kid, trying to look after my little brother, and I messed up. I failed him.”
I cried harder at that. Aston wasn’t the monster everyone thought he was. He wasn’t the cold, heartless person people made him out to be. He was just a boy, a scared little boy who didn’t know how to love his brother in the way Brax needed. He thought being tough was the only way to protect him, but now, he was broken by the weight of his own choices.
Aston continued to sob in my arms, his words coming out in gasps. “I thought… I thought being strong was what he needed. But I was wrong. I should’ve just held him when he cried. I should’ve told him that it was okay to be scared. I should’ve been there for him, not pushed him away.”
I gently rubbed his back, feeling the warmth of his tears soaking into my shirt. “You did the best you could, Aston,” I whispered, my voice trembling. “You were just a kid too. You didn’t know.”
“But it wasn’t enough,” he said, his voice full of regret. “I wasn’t enough for him. And now he’s gone.”
I didn’t know what to say, how to make it better. I couldn’t. I could only hold him as he cried, as we both cried for everything that had been lost.
Minutes passed, or maybe hours, I wasn’t sure. Time seemed to blur in moments like this, where the weight of the world felt
like too much to bear. Eventually, Aston’s s**bs began to quiet, though the pain in his eyes remained. He pulled back slightly, wiping at his face with shaky hands.
“I thought being tough would make him stronger,” he whispered, his voice h***e. “But all it did was push him further away.”
I looked at him, my own tears still fresh on my cheeks. “You loved him, Aston. I know you did. And he knew it too. Even if things didn’t turn out the way you wanted, that love was still there.”
Aston shook his head, his eyes clouded with guilt. “It wasn’t enough”
I took his hands in mine, squeezing them gently. “You did what you could. You tried to protect him in the only way you knew how. And maybe it wasn’t perfect, but it came from a place of love. That’s what matters.”
Aston looked down at our joined hands, his expression full of doubt. “I just wish… I wish I could’ve done things differently.”
“We all wish for that sometimes,” I said softly. “But we can’t change the past. All we can do is move forward.”
He nodded, though he still seemed lost in his grief. I wanted to take that pain away, to make him see that he wasn’t the monster he thought he was. But that was something he’d have to come to terms with on his own.
As the silence settled between us, I leaned in closer, resting my head against his shoulder. “You’re not alone, Aston. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
He didn’t say anything, but I felt him relax slightly, his breathing evening out.
I sat there with him, still holding his hand, my heart racing as I tried to figure out the right way to tell him how I felt. I had r***ed it in my head a thousand times. But now that I was sitting next to him, his tear-streaked face so close to mine, the words seemed to disappear. Every time I opened my mouth to speak, I froze.
Before I could figure it out, Aston shifted slightly, turning towards me. His hand still trembled in mine, but he wasn’t crying anymore. His eyes were puffy and red.
“Kira,” he said, his voice soft but steady. “I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. About everything I’ve done wrong. Not just with Brax, but with you too.”
“I’ve made so many mistakes,” he continued, his eyes not leaving mine. “And I’ve hurt you, probably more than anyone else. I was too wrapped up in my own problems, in trying to be strong, that I didn’t see what was right in front of me. I didn’t see you.”
I opened my mouth to say something, but he held up his hand, as if he wasn’t done yet.
“I need to say this,” he said quietly. “I need you to know how sorry I am for everything. For pushing you away, I was too caught up in trying to fix things my way that I didn’t realise I was making things worse. And I’m sorry.”
“Aston, you don’t-” I started, but he shook his head again, stopping me.
“No, I do. I need you to know that I see it now. I see what I’ve done wrong, and I’m not asking for you to forget all of it. I know it’s not that simple. But I want you to know that I’m done making the same mistakes. I want to be better, for you. I want to love you the way you deserve to be loved. I want to get it right.”
His words hit me hard.
“I don’t know if I deserve another chance,” he continued, his voice breaking just a little. “But if you’ll let me… I want to try. I want to love you the way I should have from the start.”
Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at him, seeing the vulnerability in his face. This wasn’t the same Aston who always kept his guard up, who acted tough and distant.
“Aston,” I whispered, my voice shaky. “You don’t have to keep apologising. I’m not going anywhere. I know things haven’t
been easy, and yeah, we’ve both made mistakes. But no matter how many mistakes we’ve made, I’m working wowed not figure it out together. I love you so much, Aston and I’m going to be here until my heart stops beating
“I love you too, Kira”
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“I have had enough of you feeding off everything my husband brings home for me. Why do I have to take care of you? I am not at fault that you are an orphan.” My aunt screamed at me as she smashed the glass of juice in her hand. “I hate seeing your hideous face because it reminds me of your mother and everytime I see it I just want to hit you.”
“Lam so sorry, I will clean up the mess.” I pleaded as I looked around for what to clean the mess she made for me. It was true I have been living with her since my parents died but this was my parent’s house and I had to work as a s**t just for her to feed me.
“Your mail has arrived, madam.” One of the guards walked in with a golden envelope that looked like an invitation. It was either an invitation or a confidential message cause why won’t the sender use the phone.
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“Selene.” She called and I walked over to her with my head slightly bowed. “This is the girl, I hope his majesty would like her for that amount of money.”
“What… what do you mean?” I asked her and she scoffed before pulling me aside. “What are you doing aunt?”
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“No aunt, you cannot do this to me. I have served you and done every single thing you asked for just for a place to live in my own father’s mansion.” I screamed as the men took me away.
They sat me in the car, giving me dirty glared as they locked the door. I tried to get out but it was impossible. Then, a white mist filled the car and before I could comprehend anything, I was enveloped in total darkness.
I woke up in a small room with two bunks. I was laying on one of them as I slowly pulled myself